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Saiyuki Fic! ~10 000 words, R, 85
Title: Cheap beds.
Rating: R for swearing and implied ickyness.
Warnings: AU, m/m, prostitution, edge of consent, violence, innumerable OCs and disturbing lack of graphic smut.
Pairing: 85
Spoilers: v.5. Duh.
Notes: permetaform wrote this kickass AU drabble, which this is based on. So this is for her with many many thanks for the idea, the title, the absolutely awesome beta and generally for being a goddess.
Also generously betaed by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kintail! Thank you so much! *hugs*
It felt right to be working again. Idle time meant thinking time, which was never good as far as Gojyo was concerned. He wasn’t at his best yet, but somehow he always sold better when slightly banged up.
It was just one guy this time. He was quiet, thin, clean-looking, yet something behind his pretty, pretty eyes made Gojyo shiver and want to run for cover, except he already told Rong he was good to go. He never chickened out before and wasn’t about to start now. It was just one guy.
His glances were like knives, chilling the skin and going straight though. He held a door open for Gojyo as one might for a date, enough to set any whore’s teeth on edge, and did not touch him at all even after they were locked up inside their room, just sat on the bed and stared into space. Gojyo leaned against the wall and waited. He was not paid nearly well enough to take any initiative.
He felt minutes ticking by as he watched disturbed dust swirl in the last rays of sunset. The room felt weird being so quiet. Customers never liked wasting the time they paid for, he should be on his knees by now, with fingers wound tight in his hair, tugging on it, wrenching his neck up, or down, or pulling him along. Everybody liked his hair. Those who knew what it meant loved it. So he kept it long because he aimed to please.
The guy did not shift a muscle, so Gojyo didn’t either. He could wait all hour, till Rong came banging on the door, if that’s what this guy wanted.
He really wanted a cigarette, but wouldn’t move to get it even if he had a pack on him. They weren’t supposed to smoke during work, not unless a customer offers. This guy did not smell like a smoker, though. Shame that.
This was turning into thinking time, and Gojyo was growing restless. He stole a glance at the guy and caught him doing the same. His eyes were dark, empty and burning.
Gojyo refused to be afraid but accepted the fact that he would be the one to look away first. He held out under the heavy gaze until every hair on his body was twitching and knees started to tremble, and then closed his eyes.
The guy, as expected, was on him in a second, breathing in his face and fingering his scars.
“What’s your name?”
“What’s the difference?” Fuck, what’s with this question?
Gojyo did not open his eyes and kept his hands where they were, folded behind his back. He had already guessed from the smell, but now he actually felt a shitload of youryoku thrumming through other man’s body, tickling his skin as it rolled from cold fingertips, and it was worrying. He’s never been with a youkai before and wasn’t sure what it could mean for him. Considering that youkai had a kink for taking humans into slavery and keeping them in cages as fucktoys… Probably nothing good.
He was pressed into the wall and fingers painfully tightened in his hair. Here we go.
“So I guess you are as close to a youkai as I can get in this town, half-breed.”
“I guess,” Gojyo answered, feeling first pain-tears seep through closed eyelids. “What is it, you missing your family, youkai?”
He was released so abruptly he nearly lost balance. Gojyo opened his eyes, looked in the darkened face inches from his own and knew at once he should not have said that.
Gojyo suddenly thought about that party he had with a bunch of villagers who just sacrificed a girl (daughter, said one, landing another punch, sister, said another, pushing in deeper, bride, said someone else, sobbing, and Gojyo sort of felt for them until he blacked out) to their local youkai king. Funny how he lived through it all just to be killed by a guy who looked like a ghost of a schoolteacher and was the first youkai he met in years.
He could call for help. Putting a stop to all the fun will definitely lose them a customer, but Rong always said she’d rather lose a customer than an employee. Which actually made business sense. He had to call for help.
A hand closed around his shoulder and squeezed like a portable vice. He was spun around and slammed against the wall, just barely managing to cushion the blow with his free arm.
“Yes, I do. I miss my family.”
Youkai pressed against him, rubbing himself against Gojyo’s ass in angry jerky movements, making his blood hum with painfully restrained power that coursed all through him, all through the room. Gojyo hung his head low, bared his neck and hoped that would be it. A fuck against the wall, and, okay, if he was any indication, youkai could go for quite a while, but they only had less than an hour left, so it wasn’t that bad. The guy shuddered behind him, clamped his teeth on the back of Gojyo’s neck, holding him in place like a beast, wound his arms around them and stilled, slightly shaking, splayed across Gojyo’s back.
Gojyo waited for an order, for a tug on the fastening of his pants or for an indication that the guy is done already, but all that came was a warm wet trickle on his neck. Blood? He did not think the teeth were sunk that deep…
By the time he figured out those were tears the guy already let go of him and stumbled towards the bed.
“Please forgive me,” he whispered, falling face first on grey pillows. “Please…”
“Hey, no problem,” Gojyo rubbed his bruised arms and slid down to sit on the floor, seriously wanting a smoke now. “You have me for a while yet. Rest.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“’S my job. And no, you didn’t.”
The guy started laughing then, in that weird wheezing way that always sounds more like gut-wrenching sobs.
“I thought I’d feel better. I just feel more like them. Isn’t it perfectly ironic? The closer I got to her the more I became one with her captors. Even now, the more I ache for her, the more I desecrate her memory. Why is that?”
Yeah, there had to be a woman involved. There always was.
“Wanna drink?” offered Gojyo. “We have a bar downstairs.”
“I’d rather stay in here for a moment” said the youkai dryly and rubbed his damp face with a sleeve.
“I’ll fetch. You can pay later.”
“No, thank you. Please stay. Please… come here.”
Gojyo walked to the bed and knelt next to it as he did so many times before. Youkai took a strand of his hair between his fingers and looked at it thoughtfully.
“It’s beautiful, you know. Now that I look at it…”
He stroked down Gojyo’s cheek with his thumb, tilted his face towards the light.
“You are beautiful. Your eyes are so deep and bright.”
His own eyes were still sorta insane, but less frantic than before.
“Your parents should be very proud of you. I know they probably aren’t, but they should be. Was it rape or love?”
Gojyo got up, firmly pushing the guy away. Many customers made cracks about his dirty blood, but this one really got under his skin for some reason.
“You know what? I’m done here. You’ll get your money back. Feel free to stay in the room till your time’s up. The mags are over there.”
There would be hell to pay with Rong unless he convinced her he was in mortal danger, but Gojyo did not care.
“I want you to stay,” said the guy quickly. “I want to spend a night with you. I’ll pay…”
He took out his wallet and emptied it on the blankets. It held about twice the fare.
“Is that enough? I’ll do anything you like. What can I do to make you stay?”
He looked so sad and lost, and Rong always urged them to accept the all-night offers since it was usually same amount of fucking for much better money.
“You shut the fuck up about my family. You stop asking questions. You stop fondling my fucking hair. I mean, grab it, whatever, just… It’s not beautiful, okay? It’s…”
“I understand.”
“Yeah, sure you do. And you take your limiters off. I wanna see your face.”
He was not sure himself where did that one come from.
“No,” said the guy, turning white.
“Hey, I don’t hide,” said Gojyo, tossing his hair. “Why should you? You take them off or I leave.”
“It might not be a good idea. I’m different without them. I…”
The guy finally noticed handcuffs dangling from the bedframe, convenient and ready for use as usual, and reached for them. Gojyo winced.
“I’ll do it,” the guy clapped free metal ring around his own right wrist and raised left hand to his ear.
Gojyo limped down the stairs, led forth by the smell of scrambled eggs and coffee. Rong was cooking breakfast, as she always did around noon, decked out in frilly apron over her usual jeans and black tunic.
“You look better today. So he didn’t fuck you, huh?”
“And good morning to you, sweetheart,” said Gojyo and grabbed for a coffee pot. “What, you gonna tell me you didn’t think he would?”
“To tell you the truth, I figured him for a talker. Or a strangler.”
Gojyo chocked and sprayed coffee all over her pristine white counter.
“You bitch, do you give me to psychos on purpose? Oh wait, of course you do. Couldn’t you warn me?“
“You seem fine, guess I was wrong. Hungry?”
“I’ll eat upstairs, with the client. At least he didn’t sell me to a possible strangler yesterday.”
“Oh, look at you, going all mushy over a guy just ‘cause you can walk in the morning,” she teased, harmlessly enough.
“But he’s so dreeeaaamy. And daaaark,” whined Gojyo, taking the loaded tray and heading back.
“Are you still all right to work tonight?” called Rong after him.
“Of course I am.”
The guy was still asleep. His real face was sharper, more angular, lips differently shaped because of the fangs, but it was still his face. The markings were quite fetching.
Gojyo fished the limiters out of his pocket and clipped them onto the admirably long ear, feeling flesh shift under his fingers. The guy shuddered awake and sat up.
He quickly ran a trembling hand over his pale face and his shoulders sagged in relief.
“I am very sorry I broke your mirror.”
“Wasn’t mine,” Gojyo dumped the tray on the bed and dangled the handcuffs key in front of customer’s face. “Sorry I had to knock you out, but after you killed the bad mirror you kinda started clawing at your eyes. Have you had enough of the bondage thing yet?”
The youkai took the key and unlocked the handcuffs, not bothering to nurse his abraded wrist.
“You are very strong,” he said contemplatively.
“I sure am.”
“So I was wondering why do you…”
“Look, just eat and get out,” said Gojyo. “This isn’t a hotel, you know.”
“I’m not hungry, thank you.”
“It’s included in my price anyway, so eat.”
The customer shook his head, got up, absent-mindedly brushed his wrinkled clothes and headed for the door. He stopped with his hand on the handle, lingered there.
“I’d still like to know your name.”
Now, in the bright sunlight that poured over the rumpled but unstained bed, with the coffee smell tickling his senses, Gojyo failed to see what was so wrong about that.
“Sha Gojyo. Just ask for the redhead, I’m the only one.”
“I’m Cho Gonou. It was an honour to meet you.”
Gojyo snorted around his mouthful of eggs. The guy still stood there, looking at him with those incredible green eyes, so sad, so cold, so hungry for something. Gojyo swallowed and pointed at the tray with his chopsticks.
“You sure you don’t want any? You are seriously missing out, Gonou. The bitch cooks like a pro.”
“Thank you,” said the guy with a faint ghost of a smile, and left.
Gojyo decided not to give him a second thought.
He spent his day as usual. Helped Misato clean the rooms, charmed Liang into doing his laundry, played cards with the guys, flirted with the girls. It was groceries day, and usually he went shopping with the rest if he was fit to walk, but that day he did not feel like going to town. He thought it would be too awkward to bump into a certain green-eyed youkai, whom he did not think about, so he stayed in and had a nap on the grass in the back garden.
Rong made a roast pig for dinner to celebrate his getting back on the horse. The usual dirty innuendo ensued. He still found it hard to chew meat and the healing tear in the corner of his mouth smarted from the spices, but the gesture was nice.
That night he was bought by two miners who came from the mountain camp for their monthly break. They decided to share him to save money – minimum rate was for an hour, and they were both done in less than forty minutes anyway. He walked out of the room on his own two feet, made it all the way to the shed he slept in during summers and collapsed on the futon. He did not have the strength to wash, but he did not mind being dirty.
He slept without dreams, just the way he liked.
Rong brought him breakfast in bed and bitched for what seemed like eternity about him staining his freshly washed bedsheets and not coming to see her after the job.
“I feel fine,” he protested. “You just want an excuse to ogle me, you dirty old hag.”
“You are playing coy, how cute. You’d let anyone with the money shove things into you without a second thought, but when a beautiful lady wants a look…”
In the end she won, and looked, and suspended him from work for another three days. He opted to sulk the day away alone in the back garden. He sneaked some beers out of the kitchen, smoked half a pack thinking about nothing in particular and finally decided to get a bit of exercise.
He called his shakoujo and started practise. The staff swung around, light and nicely balanced in his hand, the chain flew in perfect loops, fast and obedient. Some of the moves he was taught when he was little, most he came up with himself. Nobody thought a half-breed would be able to wield a weapon made of youryoku, but he was surprisingly good at it. The blade had not tasted any blood in almost a year, since he started working for Rong, and that was just fine by him. He danced around, fighting sometimes his shadow on the grass, sometimes nothing at all. From the corner of his eye he saw that Yu crept out on the back porch again and was watching him, as quiet and breathless and usual. He winked at her and put some extra flair into the swing. She smiled a little, then suddenly gave a small startled cry and ran back into the house.
He turned around and nearly jumped – that youkai, Cho Gonou, was standing under the tree like a dark shadow, tall and motionless in the rays of setting sun.
“I’ve scared her,” he said flatly.
“She’s shy,” answered Gojyo, casually shifting his grip on the weapon. “We’re not open yet. Give it another hour and knock on the front door, will you?”
“Oh, I’m leaving now. I only wanted to see if you’re still all right. You’re very skilful with your weapon.”
“You wanted – what?”
“Well, this is a dangerous field of employment, isn’t it? For all I knew, you could be dead. Or hurt. It’s only natural to worry.”
Gojyo lowered his arm, feeling the weapon slip away and fizzle into nothing.
“I’ll go. Just…” Gonou stepped closer.
“What?”
“I wanted to suggest a drink together. But you probably need to get ready for work.”
Gonou waited. His eyes were clouded and absent, dark hair fell on his face in disarray. He still wore the same clothes he had on two days before. Limiters glinted on his ear, and sunset coloured his pale skin golden and pink.
“I have a day off,” said Gojyo. “Let me get my jacket.”
There was a bar or two in this town where he did not start any fights and never got accused of cheating at poker, and therefore he was always welcome there. Sometimes he would be recognised by someone as one of Rong’s whores, but more often than not the man would choose to keep quiet about that, not keen on inviting the questions like “So how do you know him?”
“Are you going to tell me what is it you want from me?” asked Gojyo after downing his third pint of beer. Gonou gave him a strange look.
“Do I have to want something?”
“No, but you do. I can tell. So…”
“Why do you do it?”
The question was so abrupt that it startled Gojyo from the beginnings of the happy buzz. He waived to a waitress for more and turned back to Gonou, who watched him with a near-desperate intensity.
“Forgive me for being so direct, Gojyo-san, but the work you perform…the life you lead… you might as well be a slave, locked in a cage, a plaything for anyone who happens to be bored.”
“It’s nothing like that. Say, you’re not one of them, are you? You’re not trying to sell me a Bible?”
“I am not,” said Gonou with a frown.
“Because we already have one, and no one got through the first chapter yet.”
“I would like to know what binds you to this way of life. Is there anything that can be done to release you? Are you doing it because you need money for some cause? Are you indebted in any way? Does that woman have some kind of hold on you?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
“Why not?” Gojyo shrugged and lit a cigarette. ”The pay is good, and I don’t mind it rough. Do you want a smoke?”
“So you could leave if you wanted,” said Gonou, ignoring the offered pack, his face frozen in horror. “You choose to stay.”
“Yeah, because, - you know, it’s all the same shit wherever you go and whatever you do. You probably don’t get it, you are… Hey, Gonou, are you a prince or something? I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“P-pardon me?”
“You are so strong. And the markings, they are amazing. You must be of royal blood.”
“I assure you, I’m not.”
“So which clan are you from? Centipedes?”
“No!”
“Calm down, I didn’t mean anything, it’s just they’re the closest. I don’t know that much about youkai, really. Not like I could waltz into a youkai village, looking like this, and ask for a place to stay. So yeah, ignorant half-breed here, can piss you off without meaning to, sorry about that.”
“Oh no, I should be the one apologizing,” said Gonou so earnestly that it made Gojyo laugh. He gripped a cigarette between his teeth, tilted his chair to lean across and draped one arm over Gonou’s shoulder. The youkai shifted under him for better balance and smiled.
“I think we should both stop apologizing and have more beer. Do you play poker? Wanna clean out some unsuspecting humans?”
Later they were stumbling through the darkness, happily free from all the worries, floating on flower-scented air, and the moon was showing them the way. The only downside was the fact that Gonou appeared to be scarily sober, but he did not make a fuss about it and laughed at all of Gojyo’s jokes, so what else could a man want?
Gojyo tried to move his feet more in rhythm with Gonou’s, but they felt too light and wanted to do their own thing. So he slumped over Gonou’s warm, strong shoulder and let his new friend carry him to safety.
“We are almost there. Are you feeling all right, Gojyo?”
“Great, man, I feel great.” Gojyo buried his face in Gonou’s chest and hugged the man to show him how great he felt. Gonou nearly dropped him, but didn’t, and that made Gojyo even happier. “You know, Gonou, you smell.”
“I’m very sorry about that.”
“Like you didn’t wash in days. Something wrong with your bath?”
“I suppose it might be, considering I’ve burned my house to the ground.”
“Why? That’s stupid!”
“Well,” Gonou pulled him higher, one hand gripping Gojyo’s wrist, the other one wound around his waist, and it felt so nice and cosy against the chill of the night. “I no longer needed the house, because I no longer had anyone to bring back into it. Of course, the whole idea of bringing her back there was absurd. The place was like a slaughterhouse. She wouldn’t have liked it at all. But I never stopped to think, you see…”
“We have a bath!” declared Gojyo happily. “We should wash there, because I smell too. Everybody is asleep by now, so that’s what we’ll do. Right? Right?”
He liked his idea so much that he willed his legs to stop them moving forward and sought Gonou’s face through the dimness, and it was blurry and dark, but it was still his face.
“...I suppose.”
And then they were in the bathroom, and Gojyo soaped himself and almost wondered where did all this dried white and red stuff come from, and then he looked at Gonou, who was nicely naked, and saw his creamy skin all covered in healing wounds, so much worse than his own. He wanted to touch them and ask about them and soothe them, but he was not sure they were close enough for that, and the thought upset him so much that he longed for another drink, but he did not want to leave the naked Gonou alone. And later Gonou had his arms around him and was lowering them both into the steaming bath, but he remembered that in was bad, because Gonou had wounds and he had wounds and he possibly was a walking death, but Gonou held him close and said it was all right. It probably was, since he said so.
The bath was perfect. It worried skin awake, drained tension from muscles, eased hurt from bones. Naked Gonou was an arm’s reach away, he put cigarettes and an ashtray near Gojyo’s hand, he stopped looking at Gojyo as if he was a small bleeding animal, just tossed his head back and closed his eyes, and he was beautiful like that, his dark hair dampened by the water, his pretty face flushed and relaxed, waterdrops clinging to his long heck. Gojyo looked, and wanted, and unexpectedly, fell asleep.
He came round to Gonou’s hands rubbing a towel all over his body except where it mattered, and he was not a kid, dammit, he could get dressed on his own, so he took his tee-shirt and it had so many weird holes in it that he was stumped and let the other guy help him out. Gonou got himself dressed in Gojyo’s clean clothes as well, they were just that little bit too big for him, so the collar was too wide and the pants hung too low, and he looked downright lickable, not that Gojyo would ever tell him that.
“Lickable?”
The guy had freaky mind-reading powers, but Gojyo didn’t like him any less for it.
“Where do you sleep, Gojyo? I need to take you to bed.”
Gojyo safely navigated them both to the back garden and his futon in the shed, covered with fresh, crispy clean sheets. Rong was a bitch, but she looked after her own.
“Good night, Sha Gojyo,” said Gonou after arranging him in the bed, and kissed his forehead. For some reason it gave Gojyo a really bad feeling, so he grabbed Gonou’s fingers and begged the other man to stay. He would not stop asking until the youkai got into his bed and stretched out under the thin blanket, but he did not let go of his hand even then. Gojyo threaded their fingers together, rested them on his chest for safekeeping and slid into the dreams, light, alcohol-fuelled and jumbled, full of swirly colours dominated by the deep green.
All the beer he drunk woken him up in before sunrise. He jumped out of the oddly warm bed and made a beeline for the toilet, and when he came back he was in for a shock.
The customer from the other day, the green-eyed youkai, the weird stalker-guy was in his bed, curled on one side, sleeping the sleep of the non-hungover.
He smoked two cigarettes before the memories came back in full. After they did, he slid back into the bed, right on the edge of the futon, hips and shoulders still touching, but not…
Gonou turned over, disturbed by his movements, and reached for him. Gojyo stilled himself, feeling two strong thin arms wrap around him, a knee pushing between his legs, lips seeking his neck through a curtain of hair.
“…Love you… so much, honey…” murmured Gonou and pressed himself closer. Gojyo turned his face away and enjoyed the warmth. An erection bumped against his hip, clumsily insistent. Gonou moaned a little, gently humping him in his sleep, tightened the embrace, said more sleep-muffled words, all of tenderness and affection. It hurt in a really bad way, but Gojyo didn’t mind it rough, did he?
Eventually Gonou woke up and jerked away at once, shaking and cursing. Gojyo feigned sleep to the best of his abilities.
“Gojyo? Gojyo-san?” came a whisper.
Determined, he did not stir.
“Idiot. That’s the last thing he…” Gonou climbed out of the bed, grabbed his clothes and was gone in a moment, like a cloud of fog, disappearing without a trace. Gojyo jumped to his feet, scared breathless over the idea that Gonou might never be back, rushed out of the shed…
Gonou was there, on the grass, lacing his shoes. He glanced up at Gojyo and visibly suppressed a shiver.
“Did I wake you up, Gojyo?”
“Nah. Good thing you weren’t in bed. I just had a really good dream, if you know what I mean, glad I didn’t freak you out. What’s up?”
“I really should be going.”
Gojyo crouched next to him, looked into his unhappy face, snaked an arm around slumped shoulders.
“Are you sure you have a place to go?”
“Excuse me?”
“Because you could stay here. I’d like that.”
“Gojyo! Come on, you lazy jerk, wake up, it’s past noon!”
He turned over, grunted something, and was startled again by the weight and heat of another body in his bed.
“Why did you lock up? Open the door!”
“Gimme a moment…”
“Do you have company? If yes, I commend you. Still have the energy for that?”
“Shuddup…”
“Listen, I just heard. That guy you serviced on Tuesday? Wanted criminal. I knew it!”
“Huh?” Gojyo ambled towards the door, groped for the latch, threw it before his brain caught up, and when it did it was too late, because Rong was already inside, staring right at half-naked, half-awake Gonou.
“I saw that coming,” she said, and her lips turned white even under the layer of lipstick.
“Please do not be alarmed,” said Gonou evenly and pushed tangled hair away form his sleep-bleary eyes. “You can call the authorities, I won’t resist. Or, if you prefer not to get involved, I’ll leave and give myself up. I was planning to do just that.”
“What did you do?” asked Gojyo, but no words came out, so he tried again. “Are you guilty? What did you…”
“Ah, yes. Mass murder. I should have mentioned it, I suppose.”
The youkai got up, picked up his own dirty clothes from where they lay neatly folded at the head of the futon and looked at them in mild disgust.
“Keep the threads, they're old anyway. So, mass murder…”
“Yes,” Gonou finally met his eyes and smiled a crooked, wretched smile, like a ripple across his calm face.
“That means,” Gojyo lit a cigarette and dragged on it until his lungs filled with the smoke to bursting. “If you give yourself up, you won’t be coming back.”
“No, I don’t suppose I will.”
“Okay. Well, good luck with the trial and everything.”
So that’s it, thought Gojyo, watching the other man over the smouldering tip of his cigarette. That was brief.
Green eyes flicked away from his, and Gojyo dropped his gaze to the floor, not willing to watch yet another guy walking out on him.
“I only wish I could…” said the stupid mass-murdering youkai in a small shaking voice, and Gojyo felt his throat contract so painfully that no smoke came through, but he did not cough or sob, because he didn’t want to miss a word.
And that bitch Rong had to butt in and interrupt.
“Not so fast,” she said and moved to block a doorway. “You owe me money, sweet face. This boy’s my whore, and you had him for a night. Pay up.”
Gonou stepped back in disbelief.
“I… We didn’t…”
“No need for details. I charge for his time.”
“I had a day off! You said so!” yelled Gojyo. The cigarette broke in his fingers. “You filthy, money-grabbing…”
“I’m afraid I’m less than solvent at the moment,” said Gonou. “You can add defaulting to the list of charges against me.”
“Or,” mused Rong, “I could keep you here till the temple puts a bounty on your head. Then I turn you in and collect the money. How’s that?”
“That’s preposterous.”
“Rong, drop it already. Look, I’ll pay the bill, okay? I’ll do two next ones for free. Just let him go. He wants to go. Let him.”
Suddenly Gojyo felt more tired than he had any right to be after nine hours of sleep. He sat down where he stood and reached for his cigarettes to replace the broken one. The pack was empty. It was fucking empty, and it was his last pack, and he needed a smoke so badly, and now he had to either walk all the way to town or go beg the others, and he didn’t feel like talking to people right now. He crumpled a pack and threw it against the wall as hard as he could, whishing it was heavy enough to make a dent.
“I suppose that’s the least I could do. Someone should benefit from all this death, even if in such a roundabout way. But what if the temple never offers a reward for me?” asked Gonou.
“You get to work you debt off.”
“If you feel I’m qualified,” said the youkai with one of his scary smiles.
“No, no, no,” squeaked Gojyo, breaking into a cold sweat. “No.”
“Oh, calm down, Red. Like I’d let a murderous nutcase anywhere near my customers. Housework, baby. The girls deserve a break.”
“New guy!” exclaimed Heng as they all gathered around for dinner. “I didn’t even know we were hiring, there is a boy I’d have recommended. But this one is nice. We’ll have a welcoming party for you tonight, right, green-eyes?” he trailed a finger over Gonou’s neck, and the youkai did not say anything, just turned around and gave Heng a look. Gojyo never saw Heng even glancing in Gonou’s direction after that.
“He’s very pretty,” pouted Fai. “Is he prettier that me, ma? Don’t you love me any more?”
Rong rolled her eyes and pushed the boy into a chair.
“He’s not a new guy,” helpfully explained Chun, tilting her perfect, delicately featured face in Gonou’s direction. “He’s Gojyo’s girlfriend.”
“Ha, ha,” said Gonou, loading up his plate. “Professional humour. How quaint.”
“Meow!” giggled Wan. “Jealous, Chun?”
“Oh please. I wouldn’t touch a half-breed with a broomstick. Do you know his little secret, princess?” she grinned at Gonou. “He’s not human, he’s a taboo child. See, the hair…”
“Don’t make this face, honey, you’ll get wrinkles,” said Rong, gently patting Chun on the wrist. Wan convulsed with laughter and dropped a piece of fish in Fai’s lap. The boy screamed, pulled on her hair and ran off to clean his beloved purple youkata.
“Ah, the fun,” said Misato glumly. “Chun, will you do my nails before work? Since I don’t have to clean any more, I might as well get all pretty.”
Chun nodded with a smile and suggested jade on pink. Sometimes Gojyo felt that all of her bitchiness was personally reserved just for him.
“Is this onii-san really Gojyo-san’s girlfriend?” whispered Yu. Everybody around the table stilled.
“No, of course not, sweetheart. I love only you,” said Gojyo.
“We are just friends,” added Gonou, looking at Gojyo with surprised, round eyes. Yu brightened up and stuffed her face with the food. Rong let out a breath. Chun looked chastised.
“So will the princess help me with the laundry, too?” asked Liang.
“I’d rather appreciate if everyone stopped referring to me in those terms, right now,” Gonou conversationally told his plate.
“Don’t pay any attention. This is them being oddly nice,” said Gojyo. “I think they like you.”
“I sure do,” Wan nodded with great enthusiasm. “If you two are ever bored in your love-shed, let me know.”
Shui winced and tried to cover by taking a sip of tea.
Heng laughed, gave him a pat on the back: “Are you still not over her, man? Come on. You know this girl is living a dream. For some people ‘whore’ is not a job, it’s a calling.”
“Do not touch him,” said Wan. “And address me directly when you’re talking about me.”
“Enough, children,” said Rong. “We’ll finish this dinner quietly.”
After the sun had set and Heng lit a lantern on the front porch, signalling the opening, Rong found Gonou, who was still scrubbing floorboards upstairs, ushered him out of the house and ordered not to show his face around the customers. He entered the back garden, shaking out his tired arms, and smiled to Gojyo, who was sprawled on the grass with a cigarette between his teeth and a can of beer cradled in the crook of his arm, a picture of hedonistic languor.
“Another day off, Gojyo?”
“Seems so. A drink?”
“Yes please. Where do I sleep? I need to be up early to do my chores.”
“Well,” answered Gojyo carefully. “If my bed is not comfy enough, we can arrange for something else.”
“I do not wish to impose…”
Gojyo rolled over and looked up in Gonou’s face with amused red eyes.
“That’s a funny thing to hear from a mass murderer. Did you not think killing all those people was pretty impolite?”
“I told you the whole story…”
“I’m kidding, man. Get down here, it hurts my neck to look up.”
Gonou sat down next to the half-breed, resisting the silly temptation to lift him by the shoulders and drag him closer to rest this gorgeous head on his lap. The hair looked vibrant even in the near-dark and begged to be touched, but Gojyo did not like that, so that impulse had to be suppressed as well. They rested together, silent, watching as the last glimpses of sunlight left the sky and the stars fully took over.
“This is rather pleasant,” said Gonou. It sounded trite and false, but he wanted to start a conversation, because he missed the sound of Gojyo’s voice. “Do you get to do this very often?”
“Let’s not,” said Gojyo. “I’m good with how I live. I know you don’t approve…”
“That’s right, I don’t.”
“Well, I chose this. I will not apologise for it.”
“But you deserve so much better, Gojyo.”
“Oh, don’t,” said Gojyo and turned away from him. “Just shut up.”
He didn’t dare to speak after that, and the silence was sharp and cold, like the damp night air.
“Gojyo!” called Fai from the back porch. “Look after Yu, will you? Liang said she’d go to bed since you are free....”
“Sure. Come here, sweetheart. What’s up?”
Yu let go of Fai’s hand and ran up to Gojyo with a big, bright smile. The boy headed back into the house.
“Rong said she doesn’t want me to meet this ojii-san who just came to visit. She said Wan-chan will like him better than I would,” said Yu, edging around Gonou. He shifted away, and Yu dove for Gojyo, stopping an inch away from crashing into him. “She’ll call me back when someone nice wants to play with me.”
“We’ll just watch the stars till then, shall we? Come on, love, give your Gojyo a hug.”
Yu giggled and tucked her head against his side. He patted her back and took a swig from his beer can.
“This is appalling,” said Gonou, unable to contain himself. “This woman has a mind of a five-year-old. She should not be…”
“She’s a woman, Gonou. We look out for her. She likes to play with nice people. And you wouldn’t believe how well this sells.”
Gonou shuddered and hugged his knees.
“Not everyone needs saving, you know,” said Gojyo and stroked Yu’s hair, mindful of pins and ribbons. “Not everyone wants to be saved.”
“I already know that,” answered Gonou.
Yu turned over, grabbed Gojyo’s hand and, staring up into the dark sky, started to murmur a song devoid of any melody. Soft sounds broke the silence, made it less ominous. After a while Liang trotted through the yard, clutching a plain robe around herself, sat next to them and lit a pipe.
“Can’t sleep, beautiful?” inquired Gojyo.
“Too noisy in there. Now I remember why I never go to bed at reasonable time. They keep me up till all hours, and then expect the laundry to be done when they wake up. I’m too old for this shit.”
“Nonsense. You’ll outlive us all.”
“Am I older than Liang-san?” asked Yu.
“No.”
“Am I older than Gojyo-san?”
“Yes.”
“Am I older than Fai-kun?”
Gojyo groaned and drained his beer in one gulp. Liang cackled.
“How are the stars stuck up to there? Why aren’t they falling?”
“Sometimes they do,” said Gonou. “In autumn, when all the leaves turn red and yellow. If you see a falling star, you have to make a wish. What would you wish for, Yu-san?”
She stilled, peering at him with cautious black eyes.
“Come on, sweetheart, you can tell him,” urged Gojyo.
“For sponge cake,” she said quietly. “And to be as pretty as Chun-chan. And for Rong to never be sad. And for silk blue ribbons.”
“You are already pretty, but the rest of your wishes are very good. What about you, Liang-san?”
“Would be nice to be twenty again. Then, boy, we’d have a whole different conversation.”
“Oh, I’m sure you still a heartbreaker, Liang-san. Gojyo, what about you?”
“And what about you, Gonou?”
It was so dark by now that Gonou could hardly see his face. The whites of the eyes, occasional flash of teeth, glowing tip of the cigarette. He looked, question forgotten, until Liang rose to her feet and tugged Yu along.
“Come on, girl, let’s go look at the fish in our pond.”
“Aren’t they asleep?” enquired Yu. “Won’t we wake them up?”
They left, and the men stayed alone in the dark, listening to the sounds from the forest behind them, noises from the house they’ve been facing.
“Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!” monotonously screamed somebody from the inside, startling Gonou. Gojyo laughed.
“Chun is a terrible faker, isn’t she? Do you want to go to bed?”
“…Ah. Maybe I’m not taking this the right way.”
“Maybe you are.”
Gonou tried to think. It was almost impossible, because Gojyo turned toward him and his every breath was scorching Gonou’s naked arm like fire.
“Look, I only ask because I thought… Oh, forget it.”
“No, no, Gojyo. It’s just… It’s not fair on you. I won’t be here for long. It will be easier to part if we don’t.”
“For all I know…” Gojyo lit yet another cigarette, sucked on it greedily, and a flare illuminated his face, striking features, old scars, dark eyes. “We’re normally safe here, but sometimes things get out of control. Sometimes Rong is too late to step in; sometimes she can’t, because of who the customers are. So. I might be carrying something. For all I know, I might not even be here for as long as you. Is it fairer on me now?”
“No, I don’t believe it is,” said Gonou, carefully took a cigarette out of Gojou’s lips, put it out and found those lips again, in pitch-black darkness, by sheer instinct.
Next day Rong sprang onto unsuspecting Gonou as he was stripping the beds, backed him into the corner and hissed:
“Please tell me I didn’t make a mistake.”
He pretended not to understand.
“He’s not better. He’s even weirder than before. I was hoping you’d make it better. What did you do to him?”
“What did you expect?” asked he, gently but firmly pushing the woman away. “He doesn’t want to be made better. Even the possibility of dying does not upset him. And I am hardly in a position to help anyone. My God, is that really why you made me stay here?”
“This boy brings in a lot of money,” said Rong sharply. “And he’s fading away. I want to keep him.”
“It might be a moot point.”
“Then again, it might not.”
“Maybe the best thing I can do for him is to leave right now and spare him any more pain.”
“Did you see his face last time you tried?”
Gonou threw down an armful of dirty sheets he was sill holding and stared straight into her narrowed eyes.
“Please do not pretend to care. You disgust me. You are using these people, making money out of their misfortune and misery.”
“Don’t you get on a high horse with me, killer. All the kids are welcome to leave. It’s just that they have no better place to go.”
He pushed past her and walked towards the exit, fuming, until he heard raised voices.
“…Someone even more pathetic than you?”
“Don’t you dare, you stupid girl. Don’t you even…”
“Gojyo?”
They turned toward him, his redhead and that Chun person. All anger drained from Gojyo’s face at once. Chun turned on her heel, swishing bright silks around, and left in a huff.
Gojyo stepped up to Gonou, wound long muscled arms around his neck.
“You smell so good. Are you done?”
“For now,” said Gonou, rested his face on Gojyo’s shoulder and hugged his tall form as tightly as he dared without causing any pain. Gojyo smelled of tobacco, fresh grass and sunlight, and his skin tasted salty-sweet in a way that clouded all senses and made Gonou shiver with an inexorable rush of lust. He never thought he would feel this way so soon after seeing Kanan’s body twisting inside that cage, draining itself of lifeblood, he never thought he’d ever get to feel this way again at all. But this was temporary, and therefore not a betrayal. It was allowed.
Warm lips kissed a wet trail up the side of his face, clever tongue tickled his ear between the limiters. A body pressed against his was coming alive, pulse quickening, skin warming up, manhood rapidly swelling in the confines of his tight clothing.
“I want you,” breathed Gojyo right into his ear, tickling sensitive places with wet warmth, making him squirm and momentarily loose his knees. “I can’t help myself. You are so pretty. Is it okay if I call you that?”
Gonou’s mouth painfully twisted into a smile. He tried to shake off his conscience and lose himself inside this hot current that bounced between them, and it was so very easy to cleave to this man and to love him with all that was left of his heart that he had to struggle to hold back tears.
“I want you too,” he said, gently rocking them back and forth. “Can we?”
“Now?”
“Yes, please.”
And Gojyo smiled, kissed him on the lips and took him back to the little drafty shed where he slept alone, away from the humans, and laid them on his thin mattress. They peeled of their clothes, searing skin with gentle, slow caresses, and Gonou remembered precisely why tenderness hurt so much worse than the claws.
Gojyo perched himself on the railing and thoughtfully looked at the clouds. After a little nap and some cleaning Gonou ran away to busy himself with housework, and Gojyo did not stop him, didn’t even offer a hand. He smoked, and stared up in the sky, and thought about nothing in particular.
“How’s the honeymoon?” asked Rong right beside his ear, and he nearly toppled over. She had a nasty habit of sneaking up on people.
“Great. I think I’m in love.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Never said I wasn’t. He’s leaving, you know.”
“You’re very slow on the uptake, too.”
“No, he’s already not here. I see it on him every time I look. Can I work tonight?”
She glanced at him with her cold brown eyes. Long eyelashes were heavy with mascara even this early in the day, and he could still see how she must have looked fifteen years ago, almost as stunning as Chun is now.
“Sure, kid.”
His desperation must have been all over his face, because he was the first one to be taken that night. He didn’t even spare a look at the customer. Couldn’t have picked him from the line-up or anything. He was short, but that was about it.
“Come on, big guy, bend over.”
Gonou smiled when he told him he was going to work. That is, his mouth smiled, and his eyes did something too, but it was something different. He told Gojyo to be careful. Said he’d wait up, unless Rong says it’s an all-nighter. Said he’d chill some beers in case Gojyo would want a drink after work, said he’d bring a deck of cards from the house in case they’d want a late game of poker.
“That’s it. No so tough now, are you?”
Heng had gone into town in the afternoon. Said someone was around, asking questions about Cho Gonou, green-eyed twenty-year-old murderer. Swore to Gojyo he didn’t tell anything, not a word, not to a soul. What’s the point, anyway. He’ll leave, even if no one will come for him.
“You like this, don’t you. You worthless, filthy slut. Yes, do that again.”
Worthless, filthy. It rang in his ears like a mantra. Worthless. Filthy. Only right now it was okay, because he was paying. Because he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Worthless and filthy the way he truly was, and it felt so right, like a weight falling off his back, like a sore tooth being wrenched from his jaw.
“Wait there, don’t get up. I think I have another one for you. That’s… oh… Come on, do it, whore, do it…”
He did. He was good at it.
Then he was alone in the room, with a cigarette the guy gave him, limply sitting on the bed, staring into space and thinking about Gonou. How he laughed when he really was amused. How his breath caught when his sweet spots were kissed just right. The way he breathed his name…
“Gojyo.”
Thin wiry body pressed against his naked back, only a cotton shirt between them. Gojyo leaned back and let himself endlessly fall into waiting arms.
“Someone will see you.”
“No, I climbed through the window. I’ve missed you.”
“Don’t, Gonou, don’t kiss me, I’m dirty.”
“I don’t care. Are you done?”
“I’ll go back downstairs. There might be more work.”
“Ah. Of course. I understand.”
Gonou kissed him some more, on the neck, behind the ears, on the shoulders, then slid off the bed and climbed out of the window into the warm night. Gojyo went back, but there was no more work for him that day. When he scrubbed himself clean and returned to the shed, Gonou was waiting for him in bed with eyes wide opened and bright.
“Come here,” he said, and Gojyo wasn’t tired any more.
It all ended the very next day, while they were still cleaning up after dinner.
“Oh shit,” said Fai, looking out of the window. “Someone’s coming. I think it’s him. Oh shit.”
Rong looked and swore with a flair even Gojyo didn’t possess.
“It’s him.”
“Is it too late to torch the house? I mean, maybe a small fire in the kitchen, panic and scramble till he gets bored and fucks off…” suggested Shui. Rong looked at him for a moment, clearly considering, then shook her head.
“You people are supposed to be professionals. You can manage. Wan, you go.”
“Me?” asked Wan, turning ash-grey. “Why me?”
“Rong, it’s all right, I’ll do him,” said Gojyo.
“You’re hardly his type. Even Shui won’t do, not mentioning Heng.”
“But why me?” moaned Wan, wringing her hands.
“Well, who else? Fai and Chun bring in the rent money, I won’t have him put any of them out of commission. And I don’t think he’d go for Misato.”
“Thank fuck for that,” said the girl in question. “Knew it would eventually pay off to look like a horse.”
“Wan, do you want me to give him Yu?”
“Of course not. But…”
“Do what he says, and you’ll be fine,” said Rong as the doorbell rang. “Killer, take the kids out back, I don’t want him to see them.”
Gonou opened the back door and let out Chun, Fai and Yu, who grabbed the boy’s hand.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“I’ll explain, come on,” said Fai, impatiently tugging on his sleeve. “We have to go.”
Rong returned from the door with their guest, bowing like a wooden toy on a string.
“We are not open yet, please forgive the mess.”
“That’s fine. Couldn’t wait, I’m in the mood right now. Say…”
His eyes circled the room and stopped on Wan, who was visibly shaking and clutching her simple house youkata with sweat-dampened palms.
“Not much choice, I see. Well…”
He grabbed Wan’s chin, tilted her face back. The girl grimaced, trying to hold still. Shui jumped forward, but Heng neatly caught him in the neckhold and pulled him away through the kitchen.
“Smile for our guest, Wan,” said Rong.
“No manners, huh? A bit naughty, this one?” the man stroked her pale face with his knuckles, and she made a little choked sound.
Gojyo sauntered up to the man, put a hand on his elbow and grinned.
“Hi, handsome.”
“The fuck?” he bared his teeth and pushed Gojyo away, squarely in the chest. Gojyo bounced back, still smiling. “I don’t go for this kind of stuff. Rong, tell you whores not to be so grabby.”
“Ah, give me a chance,” purred Gojyo. “Think about it, you can play as rough as you like. I don’t break.”
He tossed his hair back, giving clear view of the scars, lowered his eyes just enough to still be able to glance up through the lashes. Victim here.
The guy was wavering, so Gojyo decided to push. He ran a hand down the man’s arm, slid it across the torso, lightly brushed the front of the trousers. The man slightly swayed in place, and Gojyo moved, clung to him like a thorny vine and planted a sloppy kiss near his mouth. That got a good reaction.
“Bitch,” hissed the man, recoiling, shuddering with mingled disgust and desire. He grabbed Gojyo by the hair and dragged him towards the stairs. Score.
Behind them, Wan was crying.
The pain was sharp and direct. It made everything else fade out of the focus. It made his terrified body scream with a will to live, and the mind couldn’t help but follow. He tugged on his bonds, struggling to stay awake, suddenly aware how great his life has actually been, smiled and got punched in the mouth. The sight of blood made the man grow instantly harder.
And then the pain was gone all of a sudden, leaving him empty and floating. Very far away someone was screaming, but Gojyo was certain it was no longer him.
His body really wanted to rest, but Rong’s smelling salts could probably resurrect the long dead. He scowled, coughed and tried to push the evil witch away, only his arms were too heavy. He was held. He didn’t want to be held, not any more, but the warmth of the flesh was disarming, and he twisted in agony, tossing his ringing head.
“It’s me, Gojyo,” said Gonou, and everything was all right.
Wait. Nothing was all right.
Gojyo opened his eyes all the way and saw morbid-looking Rong, Gonou with his right eye all bruised and bloodied, Wan, who was fiercely biting her finely painted fingernails, and a very unattractive crying girl with red and puffy face, who for some reason wore Chun’s silk robes.
“Please forgive me, Gojyo,” said Gonou. “I couldn’t. I’d decided not to meddle in your life. I wanted you to do what you chose for yourself. But I couldn’t. I can’t save you, but I can’t do nothing, either. Please forgive me.”
“What did you do?” asked Gojyo, suddenly feeling very cold. “Did you kill him? Do we have mayor’s son’s corpse right here?”
“No, we’re fine,” said Rong, rubbing blood off her hand. “Mayor’s son got attacked by a criminal on a run… We have no idea how he got in here… But I’ve saved him thanks to my personal bravery and deep care for valuable customers.”
“Did she give you that shiner?” asked Gojyo. Gonou looked away, quite humbled.
“Heng and Shui took that scum to a hospital, and then, after a nice meal and a game of mahjong, they will rush straight to the temple, asking for their help in subduing this monster. Rest is up to you,” said Rong. “And thanks for the show. Always wanted to see that bastard scream like a girl.”
“You have to run,” said Gojyo, clutching Gonou’s hand. The youkai looked back at him, blinking:
“Where would I run, Gojyo?”
“Away. I need you alive. Hide, I will find you. Please, run.”
“I’ll be caught eventually, and we might never meet again. I’d rather stay with you for as long as we have.”
“Oh, Gojyo, and you are fired,” said Rong.
“Whaaat?” yelped Gojyo, jumping up and collapsing back into Gonou’s arms. Nothing about his body worked the way it was supposed to, courtesy of those knocks on a head he took. “What the hell did I do? I didn’t do anything wrong, you vicious bitch!”
“You no longer have what it takes, kid, that’s all.”
Gojyo curled in on himself, terrified and nauseous. He could barely move his body at the moment, his head spun, fogging the vision, pain was everywhere, and he couldn’t even tell where that everywhere was. What happened to him? Did he lose a limb? Was he finally scarred in a way no one could find attractive? Was he mortally wounded? No, she would hardly bother firing him then…
“You should run away together,” said Wan. “I’ll give you some money so you can travel faster. Chun, will you buy my earrings?”
Red and puffy girl sobbed something inaudible, sniffling and smearing makeup all over her face.
“Do you want to?” asked Gojyo.
“You are hardly in any condition to travel,” said Gonou, stroking his shoulder.
“I’ll manage. If you want me to come along, I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want us to die running. Gojyo, please, be reasonable. I’m sure Rong-san will retract her idiotic decision to dismiss you.”
Rong slapped him upside the head and glared daggers, but before she got to say anything, Shui burst in, breathless.
“They’re coming. They’ve found out somehow, they’re almost here.”
“That’s it,” said Gonou. “Thank you for your hospitality and acquaintance, everyone. Gojyo, please take care of yourself. You are very important to me. I only wish we had longer together.”
“Cho Gonou, I presume,” grated the voice that instantly made every Gojyo’s nerve vibrate with, possibly, irritation. “Come with me.”
Gonou’s death stood in front of them, dressed in white robes and tight black leather.
“No,” said Gojyo and dragged himself upright. “You will not take him. Not now. Not fucking now, when I finally found him.”
The man grimaced in exasperation. He had a face of a very grouchy angel, droopy eyes of startling colour and hair like pure liquid gold, bright and shiny.
“Stand in my way, punk, and get squashed to a pulp. This is your last warning.”
“Gojyo,” started Gonou from behind him, trying to softly hold him back and push aside, but Gojyo shook him off and jumped the gold-haired jerk, aiming to punch him right in his too-perfect face.
He was pretty sure he would have connected, if a twelve-year-old hadn’t appeared from nowhere and kicked him straight into the far wall.
Gojyo opened his eyes and saw an open window with striped curtain and a sad potted plant on the windowsill. To the left of the window there was an empty small bookcase, to the right – framed print featuring ducks and ducklings. Wallpaper was yellow and peeling, and the ceiling was full of cracks.
“This is kinda disappointing,” he said, trying to figure out what did he expect. Prison? Hell? Bitchy blond angels in leather?
“Sorry about that,” said Gonou. “I was aiming for ‘affordable’, actually.”
He was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, his bent legs slung over Gojyo. He wore Gojyo’s old sweater and pyjama pants, his hair was cut shorter than before, and he was calmly reading a tattered book.
Gojyo blinked. It didn’t help, so he blinked again.
“Didn’t they get you?”
“Yes.”
“So what happened?”
“They killed me,” said Gonou, and Gojyo’s heart fell for a moment even though it was completely stupid. “It was a lovely, thoughtful ritual. They gave me a new name and a new chance at life. So I rented this place for a week. We can move, if you don’t like it.”
The place was a total dump. The only things ruining the ensemble were a huge flower arrangement in a beautiful ornate vase, an embroidered purse lying next to it on a stained table, and Gonou himself.
“Oh, these are from your former co-workers. Chun-san painted the vase herself. She’s very talented, don’t you think?”
“Huh?”
“She has a bit of a crush on you.”
“Huh??”
“And Rong-san brought your money.”
“She what?”
“She said you hardly ever cashed your earnings, so when she deducted all the alcohol you’ve drank from the bar, and, as she said, food and board were free for all employees…” Gonou stated the amount, and Gojyo started hyperventilating. Gonou slid off the bed, gave him a glass of water and climbed back.
“So that’s how you could afford the rent,” said Gojyo after calming down. “But why this? With that kind of money you could straight out buy a much better place and a widescreen TV, and still have some left for the beer.”
“Oh no, that’s your money, Gojyo. I took an advance payment from our new employer. Sanzo hoshi-sama… you’ve met him… needed a couple of, I quote, filthy non-humans to do his dirty work. Or just the work he doesn’t feel like doing himself. I’ve signed us up.”
“Why?”
“Why not? The pay is relatively good, and we don’t mind it rough. I’m also tutoring the little boy who beat you up.”
“I was hoping I’ve hallucinated that.”
“He’s very sweet, you’ll get along.”
There was a pause. Gonou’s eyes were trained on the book, but didn’t move along the rows.
“I asked a doctor to look at you, he assured me you’ll be perfectly fine by the end of the week. Gojyo… I need to ask. I didn’t mean for this to be too, ah, intense and awkward, but I need to be sure.”
“Just say it, will you?”
“Do you want me here?”
Gojyo smiled and tugged on his sleeve until Gonou was lying next to him, face just inches away.
“Nothing changed, really. I’m still a murderer. I’m still haunted. I still love someone else,” said Gonou. His eyes were very sad, but there was a light Gojyo rarely saw there before, and he didn’t even care if a certain cranky blond put it there.
“And I’m still me. So what? We’ll make it work. As long as you don’t leave.”
“Oh no, I believe I’m home, ” said Gonou and leaned in for a kiss. Gojyo stopped him a breath away and clarified:
“We are moving, though, right?”
“Yes, it was a metaphor. We can move, if you want.”
“Good.”
And they kissed until he got tired, after which Gonou tucked him in, told him to rest and woke him up several hours later with another kiss and a somewhat dubious home-cooked dinner.
But that’s a whole different life.
Omake
Boys are gathered round, perusing a copy of “Crime and Punishment”
Gojyo: Poor girl! At least my stepmother only wanted to kill me, not sell my body.
Sanzo: (snorts) Yeah, keep giving them ideas.
Goku: Sanzo’s part got shortened. (pouts) If she did it by the book as she promised, he’d be one of the main characters!
Sanzo: It’s called “keeping a low profile”, monkey. I’d only agreed to a cameo to distract her from thinking about casting you as a drunk, underage victim of sexual assault.
Hakkai: At least that’s in the book.
Goku: So who was the… (quickly leafs through the tome)… who was my molester?
Gojyo: And why was I injured all the frigging time? How was I supposed to be a valuable employee if I was constantly on a sick leave?
Hakkai: That was hurt-comfort, apparently (pats Gojyo’s ass. Gojyo winces.) I’m just glad we didn’t have to move to Siberia.
Sanzo: (strokes gun) I’d explained to her that it’s not westward.
Hakkai: Ooh, look, in this book my sister doesn’t die! That’s nice. She gets together with my friend. Excuse me? (rereads frantically)
Gojyo: But…I’m your friend, so... Yay, threesome!
Hakkai: Aah, classical literature.
Rating: R for swearing and implied ickyness.
Warnings: AU, m/m, prostitution, edge of consent, violence, innumerable OCs and disturbing lack of graphic smut.
Pairing: 85
Spoilers: v.5. Duh.
Notes: permetaform wrote this kickass AU drabble, which this is based on. So this is for her with many many thanks for the idea, the title, the absolutely awesome beta and generally for being a goddess.
Also generously betaed by
kintail! Thank you so much! *hugs*It felt right to be working again. Idle time meant thinking time, which was never good as far as Gojyo was concerned. He wasn’t at his best yet, but somehow he always sold better when slightly banged up.
It was just one guy this time. He was quiet, thin, clean-looking, yet something behind his pretty, pretty eyes made Gojyo shiver and want to run for cover, except he already told Rong he was good to go. He never chickened out before and wasn’t about to start now. It was just one guy.
His glances were like knives, chilling the skin and going straight though. He held a door open for Gojyo as one might for a date, enough to set any whore’s teeth on edge, and did not touch him at all even after they were locked up inside their room, just sat on the bed and stared into space. Gojyo leaned against the wall and waited. He was not paid nearly well enough to take any initiative.
He felt minutes ticking by as he watched disturbed dust swirl in the last rays of sunset. The room felt weird being so quiet. Customers never liked wasting the time they paid for, he should be on his knees by now, with fingers wound tight in his hair, tugging on it, wrenching his neck up, or down, or pulling him along. Everybody liked his hair. Those who knew what it meant loved it. So he kept it long because he aimed to please.
The guy did not shift a muscle, so Gojyo didn’t either. He could wait all hour, till Rong came banging on the door, if that’s what this guy wanted.
He really wanted a cigarette, but wouldn’t move to get it even if he had a pack on him. They weren’t supposed to smoke during work, not unless a customer offers. This guy did not smell like a smoker, though. Shame that.
This was turning into thinking time, and Gojyo was growing restless. He stole a glance at the guy and caught him doing the same. His eyes were dark, empty and burning.
Gojyo refused to be afraid but accepted the fact that he would be the one to look away first. He held out under the heavy gaze until every hair on his body was twitching and knees started to tremble, and then closed his eyes.
The guy, as expected, was on him in a second, breathing in his face and fingering his scars.
“What’s your name?”
“What’s the difference?” Fuck, what’s with this question?
Gojyo did not open his eyes and kept his hands where they were, folded behind his back. He had already guessed from the smell, but now he actually felt a shitload of youryoku thrumming through other man’s body, tickling his skin as it rolled from cold fingertips, and it was worrying. He’s never been with a youkai before and wasn’t sure what it could mean for him. Considering that youkai had a kink for taking humans into slavery and keeping them in cages as fucktoys… Probably nothing good.
He was pressed into the wall and fingers painfully tightened in his hair. Here we go.
“So I guess you are as close to a youkai as I can get in this town, half-breed.”
“I guess,” Gojyo answered, feeling first pain-tears seep through closed eyelids. “What is it, you missing your family, youkai?”
He was released so abruptly he nearly lost balance. Gojyo opened his eyes, looked in the darkened face inches from his own and knew at once he should not have said that.
Gojyo suddenly thought about that party he had with a bunch of villagers who just sacrificed a girl (daughter, said one, landing another punch, sister, said another, pushing in deeper, bride, said someone else, sobbing, and Gojyo sort of felt for them until he blacked out) to their local youkai king. Funny how he lived through it all just to be killed by a guy who looked like a ghost of a schoolteacher and was the first youkai he met in years.
He could call for help. Putting a stop to all the fun will definitely lose them a customer, but Rong always said she’d rather lose a customer than an employee. Which actually made business sense. He had to call for help.
A hand closed around his shoulder and squeezed like a portable vice. He was spun around and slammed against the wall, just barely managing to cushion the blow with his free arm.
“Yes, I do. I miss my family.”
Youkai pressed against him, rubbing himself against Gojyo’s ass in angry jerky movements, making his blood hum with painfully restrained power that coursed all through him, all through the room. Gojyo hung his head low, bared his neck and hoped that would be it. A fuck against the wall, and, okay, if he was any indication, youkai could go for quite a while, but they only had less than an hour left, so it wasn’t that bad. The guy shuddered behind him, clamped his teeth on the back of Gojyo’s neck, holding him in place like a beast, wound his arms around them and stilled, slightly shaking, splayed across Gojyo’s back.
Gojyo waited for an order, for a tug on the fastening of his pants or for an indication that the guy is done already, but all that came was a warm wet trickle on his neck. Blood? He did not think the teeth were sunk that deep…
By the time he figured out those were tears the guy already let go of him and stumbled towards the bed.
“Please forgive me,” he whispered, falling face first on grey pillows. “Please…”
“Hey, no problem,” Gojyo rubbed his bruised arms and slid down to sit on the floor, seriously wanting a smoke now. “You have me for a while yet. Rest.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“’S my job. And no, you didn’t.”
The guy started laughing then, in that weird wheezing way that always sounds more like gut-wrenching sobs.
“I thought I’d feel better. I just feel more like them. Isn’t it perfectly ironic? The closer I got to her the more I became one with her captors. Even now, the more I ache for her, the more I desecrate her memory. Why is that?”
Yeah, there had to be a woman involved. There always was.
“Wanna drink?” offered Gojyo. “We have a bar downstairs.”
“I’d rather stay in here for a moment” said the youkai dryly and rubbed his damp face with a sleeve.
“I’ll fetch. You can pay later.”
“No, thank you. Please stay. Please… come here.”
Gojyo walked to the bed and knelt next to it as he did so many times before. Youkai took a strand of his hair between his fingers and looked at it thoughtfully.
“It’s beautiful, you know. Now that I look at it…”
He stroked down Gojyo’s cheek with his thumb, tilted his face towards the light.
“You are beautiful. Your eyes are so deep and bright.”
His own eyes were still sorta insane, but less frantic than before.
“Your parents should be very proud of you. I know they probably aren’t, but they should be. Was it rape or love?”
Gojyo got up, firmly pushing the guy away. Many customers made cracks about his dirty blood, but this one really got under his skin for some reason.
“You know what? I’m done here. You’ll get your money back. Feel free to stay in the room till your time’s up. The mags are over there.”
There would be hell to pay with Rong unless he convinced her he was in mortal danger, but Gojyo did not care.
“I want you to stay,” said the guy quickly. “I want to spend a night with you. I’ll pay…”
He took out his wallet and emptied it on the blankets. It held about twice the fare.
“Is that enough? I’ll do anything you like. What can I do to make you stay?”
He looked so sad and lost, and Rong always urged them to accept the all-night offers since it was usually same amount of fucking for much better money.
“You shut the fuck up about my family. You stop asking questions. You stop fondling my fucking hair. I mean, grab it, whatever, just… It’s not beautiful, okay? It’s…”
“I understand.”
“Yeah, sure you do. And you take your limiters off. I wanna see your face.”
He was not sure himself where did that one come from.
“No,” said the guy, turning white.
“Hey, I don’t hide,” said Gojyo, tossing his hair. “Why should you? You take them off or I leave.”
“It might not be a good idea. I’m different without them. I…”
The guy finally noticed handcuffs dangling from the bedframe, convenient and ready for use as usual, and reached for them. Gojyo winced.
“I’ll do it,” the guy clapped free metal ring around his own right wrist and raised left hand to his ear.
Gojyo limped down the stairs, led forth by the smell of scrambled eggs and coffee. Rong was cooking breakfast, as she always did around noon, decked out in frilly apron over her usual jeans and black tunic.
“You look better today. So he didn’t fuck you, huh?”
“And good morning to you, sweetheart,” said Gojyo and grabbed for a coffee pot. “What, you gonna tell me you didn’t think he would?”
“To tell you the truth, I figured him for a talker. Or a strangler.”
Gojyo chocked and sprayed coffee all over her pristine white counter.
“You bitch, do you give me to psychos on purpose? Oh wait, of course you do. Couldn’t you warn me?“
“You seem fine, guess I was wrong. Hungry?”
“I’ll eat upstairs, with the client. At least he didn’t sell me to a possible strangler yesterday.”
“Oh, look at you, going all mushy over a guy just ‘cause you can walk in the morning,” she teased, harmlessly enough.
“But he’s so dreeeaaamy. And daaaark,” whined Gojyo, taking the loaded tray and heading back.
“Are you still all right to work tonight?” called Rong after him.
“Of course I am.”
The guy was still asleep. His real face was sharper, more angular, lips differently shaped because of the fangs, but it was still his face. The markings were quite fetching.
Gojyo fished the limiters out of his pocket and clipped them onto the admirably long ear, feeling flesh shift under his fingers. The guy shuddered awake and sat up.
He quickly ran a trembling hand over his pale face and his shoulders sagged in relief.
“I am very sorry I broke your mirror.”
“Wasn’t mine,” Gojyo dumped the tray on the bed and dangled the handcuffs key in front of customer’s face. “Sorry I had to knock you out, but after you killed the bad mirror you kinda started clawing at your eyes. Have you had enough of the bondage thing yet?”
The youkai took the key and unlocked the handcuffs, not bothering to nurse his abraded wrist.
“You are very strong,” he said contemplatively.
“I sure am.”
“So I was wondering why do you…”
“Look, just eat and get out,” said Gojyo. “This isn’t a hotel, you know.”
“I’m not hungry, thank you.”
“It’s included in my price anyway, so eat.”
The customer shook his head, got up, absent-mindedly brushed his wrinkled clothes and headed for the door. He stopped with his hand on the handle, lingered there.
“I’d still like to know your name.”
Now, in the bright sunlight that poured over the rumpled but unstained bed, with the coffee smell tickling his senses, Gojyo failed to see what was so wrong about that.
“Sha Gojyo. Just ask for the redhead, I’m the only one.”
“I’m Cho Gonou. It was an honour to meet you.”
Gojyo snorted around his mouthful of eggs. The guy still stood there, looking at him with those incredible green eyes, so sad, so cold, so hungry for something. Gojyo swallowed and pointed at the tray with his chopsticks.
“You sure you don’t want any? You are seriously missing out, Gonou. The bitch cooks like a pro.”
“Thank you,” said the guy with a faint ghost of a smile, and left.
Gojyo decided not to give him a second thought.
He spent his day as usual. Helped Misato clean the rooms, charmed Liang into doing his laundry, played cards with the guys, flirted with the girls. It was groceries day, and usually he went shopping with the rest if he was fit to walk, but that day he did not feel like going to town. He thought it would be too awkward to bump into a certain green-eyed youkai, whom he did not think about, so he stayed in and had a nap on the grass in the back garden.
Rong made a roast pig for dinner to celebrate his getting back on the horse. The usual dirty innuendo ensued. He still found it hard to chew meat and the healing tear in the corner of his mouth smarted from the spices, but the gesture was nice.
That night he was bought by two miners who came from the mountain camp for their monthly break. They decided to share him to save money – minimum rate was for an hour, and they were both done in less than forty minutes anyway. He walked out of the room on his own two feet, made it all the way to the shed he slept in during summers and collapsed on the futon. He did not have the strength to wash, but he did not mind being dirty.
He slept without dreams, just the way he liked.
Rong brought him breakfast in bed and bitched for what seemed like eternity about him staining his freshly washed bedsheets and not coming to see her after the job.
“I feel fine,” he protested. “You just want an excuse to ogle me, you dirty old hag.”
“You are playing coy, how cute. You’d let anyone with the money shove things into you without a second thought, but when a beautiful lady wants a look…”
In the end she won, and looked, and suspended him from work for another three days. He opted to sulk the day away alone in the back garden. He sneaked some beers out of the kitchen, smoked half a pack thinking about nothing in particular and finally decided to get a bit of exercise.
He called his shakoujo and started practise. The staff swung around, light and nicely balanced in his hand, the chain flew in perfect loops, fast and obedient. Some of the moves he was taught when he was little, most he came up with himself. Nobody thought a half-breed would be able to wield a weapon made of youryoku, but he was surprisingly good at it. The blade had not tasted any blood in almost a year, since he started working for Rong, and that was just fine by him. He danced around, fighting sometimes his shadow on the grass, sometimes nothing at all. From the corner of his eye he saw that Yu crept out on the back porch again and was watching him, as quiet and breathless and usual. He winked at her and put some extra flair into the swing. She smiled a little, then suddenly gave a small startled cry and ran back into the house.
He turned around and nearly jumped – that youkai, Cho Gonou, was standing under the tree like a dark shadow, tall and motionless in the rays of setting sun.
“I’ve scared her,” he said flatly.
“She’s shy,” answered Gojyo, casually shifting his grip on the weapon. “We’re not open yet. Give it another hour and knock on the front door, will you?”
“Oh, I’m leaving now. I only wanted to see if you’re still all right. You’re very skilful with your weapon.”
“You wanted – what?”
“Well, this is a dangerous field of employment, isn’t it? For all I knew, you could be dead. Or hurt. It’s only natural to worry.”
Gojyo lowered his arm, feeling the weapon slip away and fizzle into nothing.
“I’ll go. Just…” Gonou stepped closer.
“What?”
“I wanted to suggest a drink together. But you probably need to get ready for work.”
Gonou waited. His eyes were clouded and absent, dark hair fell on his face in disarray. He still wore the same clothes he had on two days before. Limiters glinted on his ear, and sunset coloured his pale skin golden and pink.
“I have a day off,” said Gojyo. “Let me get my jacket.”
There was a bar or two in this town where he did not start any fights and never got accused of cheating at poker, and therefore he was always welcome there. Sometimes he would be recognised by someone as one of Rong’s whores, but more often than not the man would choose to keep quiet about that, not keen on inviting the questions like “So how do you know him?”
“Are you going to tell me what is it you want from me?” asked Gojyo after downing his third pint of beer. Gonou gave him a strange look.
“Do I have to want something?”
“No, but you do. I can tell. So…”
“Why do you do it?”
The question was so abrupt that it startled Gojyo from the beginnings of the happy buzz. He waived to a waitress for more and turned back to Gonou, who watched him with a near-desperate intensity.
“Forgive me for being so direct, Gojyo-san, but the work you perform…the life you lead… you might as well be a slave, locked in a cage, a plaything for anyone who happens to be bored.”
“It’s nothing like that. Say, you’re not one of them, are you? You’re not trying to sell me a Bible?”
“I am not,” said Gonou with a frown.
“Because we already have one, and no one got through the first chapter yet.”
“I would like to know what binds you to this way of life. Is there anything that can be done to release you? Are you doing it because you need money for some cause? Are you indebted in any way? Does that woman have some kind of hold on you?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
“Why not?” Gojyo shrugged and lit a cigarette. ”The pay is good, and I don’t mind it rough. Do you want a smoke?”
“So you could leave if you wanted,” said Gonou, ignoring the offered pack, his face frozen in horror. “You choose to stay.”
“Yeah, because, - you know, it’s all the same shit wherever you go and whatever you do. You probably don’t get it, you are… Hey, Gonou, are you a prince or something? I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“P-pardon me?”
“You are so strong. And the markings, they are amazing. You must be of royal blood.”
“I assure you, I’m not.”
“So which clan are you from? Centipedes?”
“No!”
“Calm down, I didn’t mean anything, it’s just they’re the closest. I don’t know that much about youkai, really. Not like I could waltz into a youkai village, looking like this, and ask for a place to stay. So yeah, ignorant half-breed here, can piss you off without meaning to, sorry about that.”
“Oh no, I should be the one apologizing,” said Gonou so earnestly that it made Gojyo laugh. He gripped a cigarette between his teeth, tilted his chair to lean across and draped one arm over Gonou’s shoulder. The youkai shifted under him for better balance and smiled.
“I think we should both stop apologizing and have more beer. Do you play poker? Wanna clean out some unsuspecting humans?”
Later they were stumbling through the darkness, happily free from all the worries, floating on flower-scented air, and the moon was showing them the way. The only downside was the fact that Gonou appeared to be scarily sober, but he did not make a fuss about it and laughed at all of Gojyo’s jokes, so what else could a man want?
Gojyo tried to move his feet more in rhythm with Gonou’s, but they felt too light and wanted to do their own thing. So he slumped over Gonou’s warm, strong shoulder and let his new friend carry him to safety.
“We are almost there. Are you feeling all right, Gojyo?”
“Great, man, I feel great.” Gojyo buried his face in Gonou’s chest and hugged the man to show him how great he felt. Gonou nearly dropped him, but didn’t, and that made Gojyo even happier. “You know, Gonou, you smell.”
“I’m very sorry about that.”
“Like you didn’t wash in days. Something wrong with your bath?”
“I suppose it might be, considering I’ve burned my house to the ground.”
“Why? That’s stupid!”
“Well,” Gonou pulled him higher, one hand gripping Gojyo’s wrist, the other one wound around his waist, and it felt so nice and cosy against the chill of the night. “I no longer needed the house, because I no longer had anyone to bring back into it. Of course, the whole idea of bringing her back there was absurd. The place was like a slaughterhouse. She wouldn’t have liked it at all. But I never stopped to think, you see…”
“We have a bath!” declared Gojyo happily. “We should wash there, because I smell too. Everybody is asleep by now, so that’s what we’ll do. Right? Right?”
He liked his idea so much that he willed his legs to stop them moving forward and sought Gonou’s face through the dimness, and it was blurry and dark, but it was still his face.
“...I suppose.”
And then they were in the bathroom, and Gojyo soaped himself and almost wondered where did all this dried white and red stuff come from, and then he looked at Gonou, who was nicely naked, and saw his creamy skin all covered in healing wounds, so much worse than his own. He wanted to touch them and ask about them and soothe them, but he was not sure they were close enough for that, and the thought upset him so much that he longed for another drink, but he did not want to leave the naked Gonou alone. And later Gonou had his arms around him and was lowering them both into the steaming bath, but he remembered that in was bad, because Gonou had wounds and he had wounds and he possibly was a walking death, but Gonou held him close and said it was all right. It probably was, since he said so.
The bath was perfect. It worried skin awake, drained tension from muscles, eased hurt from bones. Naked Gonou was an arm’s reach away, he put cigarettes and an ashtray near Gojyo’s hand, he stopped looking at Gojyo as if he was a small bleeding animal, just tossed his head back and closed his eyes, and he was beautiful like that, his dark hair dampened by the water, his pretty face flushed and relaxed, waterdrops clinging to his long heck. Gojyo looked, and wanted, and unexpectedly, fell asleep.
He came round to Gonou’s hands rubbing a towel all over his body except where it mattered, and he was not a kid, dammit, he could get dressed on his own, so he took his tee-shirt and it had so many weird holes in it that he was stumped and let the other guy help him out. Gonou got himself dressed in Gojyo’s clean clothes as well, they were just that little bit too big for him, so the collar was too wide and the pants hung too low, and he looked downright lickable, not that Gojyo would ever tell him that.
“Lickable?”
The guy had freaky mind-reading powers, but Gojyo didn’t like him any less for it.
“Where do you sleep, Gojyo? I need to take you to bed.”
Gojyo safely navigated them both to the back garden and his futon in the shed, covered with fresh, crispy clean sheets. Rong was a bitch, but she looked after her own.
“Good night, Sha Gojyo,” said Gonou after arranging him in the bed, and kissed his forehead. For some reason it gave Gojyo a really bad feeling, so he grabbed Gonou’s fingers and begged the other man to stay. He would not stop asking until the youkai got into his bed and stretched out under the thin blanket, but he did not let go of his hand even then. Gojyo threaded their fingers together, rested them on his chest for safekeeping and slid into the dreams, light, alcohol-fuelled and jumbled, full of swirly colours dominated by the deep green.
All the beer he drunk woken him up in before sunrise. He jumped out of the oddly warm bed and made a beeline for the toilet, and when he came back he was in for a shock.
The customer from the other day, the green-eyed youkai, the weird stalker-guy was in his bed, curled on one side, sleeping the sleep of the non-hungover.
He smoked two cigarettes before the memories came back in full. After they did, he slid back into the bed, right on the edge of the futon, hips and shoulders still touching, but not…
Gonou turned over, disturbed by his movements, and reached for him. Gojyo stilled himself, feeling two strong thin arms wrap around him, a knee pushing between his legs, lips seeking his neck through a curtain of hair.
“…Love you… so much, honey…” murmured Gonou and pressed himself closer. Gojyo turned his face away and enjoyed the warmth. An erection bumped against his hip, clumsily insistent. Gonou moaned a little, gently humping him in his sleep, tightened the embrace, said more sleep-muffled words, all of tenderness and affection. It hurt in a really bad way, but Gojyo didn’t mind it rough, did he?
Eventually Gonou woke up and jerked away at once, shaking and cursing. Gojyo feigned sleep to the best of his abilities.
“Gojyo? Gojyo-san?” came a whisper.
Determined, he did not stir.
“Idiot. That’s the last thing he…” Gonou climbed out of the bed, grabbed his clothes and was gone in a moment, like a cloud of fog, disappearing without a trace. Gojyo jumped to his feet, scared breathless over the idea that Gonou might never be back, rushed out of the shed…
Gonou was there, on the grass, lacing his shoes. He glanced up at Gojyo and visibly suppressed a shiver.
“Did I wake you up, Gojyo?”
“Nah. Good thing you weren’t in bed. I just had a really good dream, if you know what I mean, glad I didn’t freak you out. What’s up?”
“I really should be going.”
Gojyo crouched next to him, looked into his unhappy face, snaked an arm around slumped shoulders.
“Are you sure you have a place to go?”
“Excuse me?”
“Because you could stay here. I’d like that.”
“Gojyo! Come on, you lazy jerk, wake up, it’s past noon!”
He turned over, grunted something, and was startled again by the weight and heat of another body in his bed.
“Why did you lock up? Open the door!”
“Gimme a moment…”
“Do you have company? If yes, I commend you. Still have the energy for that?”
“Shuddup…”
“Listen, I just heard. That guy you serviced on Tuesday? Wanted criminal. I knew it!”
“Huh?” Gojyo ambled towards the door, groped for the latch, threw it before his brain caught up, and when it did it was too late, because Rong was already inside, staring right at half-naked, half-awake Gonou.
“I saw that coming,” she said, and her lips turned white even under the layer of lipstick.
“Please do not be alarmed,” said Gonou evenly and pushed tangled hair away form his sleep-bleary eyes. “You can call the authorities, I won’t resist. Or, if you prefer not to get involved, I’ll leave and give myself up. I was planning to do just that.”
“What did you do?” asked Gojyo, but no words came out, so he tried again. “Are you guilty? What did you…”
“Ah, yes. Mass murder. I should have mentioned it, I suppose.”
The youkai got up, picked up his own dirty clothes from where they lay neatly folded at the head of the futon and looked at them in mild disgust.
“Keep the threads, they're old anyway. So, mass murder…”
“Yes,” Gonou finally met his eyes and smiled a crooked, wretched smile, like a ripple across his calm face.
“That means,” Gojyo lit a cigarette and dragged on it until his lungs filled with the smoke to bursting. “If you give yourself up, you won’t be coming back.”
“No, I don’t suppose I will.”
“Okay. Well, good luck with the trial and everything.”
So that’s it, thought Gojyo, watching the other man over the smouldering tip of his cigarette. That was brief.
Green eyes flicked away from his, and Gojyo dropped his gaze to the floor, not willing to watch yet another guy walking out on him.
“I only wish I could…” said the stupid mass-murdering youkai in a small shaking voice, and Gojyo felt his throat contract so painfully that no smoke came through, but he did not cough or sob, because he didn’t want to miss a word.
And that bitch Rong had to butt in and interrupt.
“Not so fast,” she said and moved to block a doorway. “You owe me money, sweet face. This boy’s my whore, and you had him for a night. Pay up.”
Gonou stepped back in disbelief.
“I… We didn’t…”
“No need for details. I charge for his time.”
“I had a day off! You said so!” yelled Gojyo. The cigarette broke in his fingers. “You filthy, money-grabbing…”
“I’m afraid I’m less than solvent at the moment,” said Gonou. “You can add defaulting to the list of charges against me.”
“Or,” mused Rong, “I could keep you here till the temple puts a bounty on your head. Then I turn you in and collect the money. How’s that?”
“That’s preposterous.”
“Rong, drop it already. Look, I’ll pay the bill, okay? I’ll do two next ones for free. Just let him go. He wants to go. Let him.”
Suddenly Gojyo felt more tired than he had any right to be after nine hours of sleep. He sat down where he stood and reached for his cigarettes to replace the broken one. The pack was empty. It was fucking empty, and it was his last pack, and he needed a smoke so badly, and now he had to either walk all the way to town or go beg the others, and he didn’t feel like talking to people right now. He crumpled a pack and threw it against the wall as hard as he could, whishing it was heavy enough to make a dent.
“I suppose that’s the least I could do. Someone should benefit from all this death, even if in such a roundabout way. But what if the temple never offers a reward for me?” asked Gonou.
“You get to work you debt off.”
“If you feel I’m qualified,” said the youkai with one of his scary smiles.
“No, no, no,” squeaked Gojyo, breaking into a cold sweat. “No.”
“Oh, calm down, Red. Like I’d let a murderous nutcase anywhere near my customers. Housework, baby. The girls deserve a break.”
“New guy!” exclaimed Heng as they all gathered around for dinner. “I didn’t even know we were hiring, there is a boy I’d have recommended. But this one is nice. We’ll have a welcoming party for you tonight, right, green-eyes?” he trailed a finger over Gonou’s neck, and the youkai did not say anything, just turned around and gave Heng a look. Gojyo never saw Heng even glancing in Gonou’s direction after that.
“He’s very pretty,” pouted Fai. “Is he prettier that me, ma? Don’t you love me any more?”
Rong rolled her eyes and pushed the boy into a chair.
“He’s not a new guy,” helpfully explained Chun, tilting her perfect, delicately featured face in Gonou’s direction. “He’s Gojyo’s girlfriend.”
“Ha, ha,” said Gonou, loading up his plate. “Professional humour. How quaint.”
“Meow!” giggled Wan. “Jealous, Chun?”
“Oh please. I wouldn’t touch a half-breed with a broomstick. Do you know his little secret, princess?” she grinned at Gonou. “He’s not human, he’s a taboo child. See, the hair…”
“Don’t make this face, honey, you’ll get wrinkles,” said Rong, gently patting Chun on the wrist. Wan convulsed with laughter and dropped a piece of fish in Fai’s lap. The boy screamed, pulled on her hair and ran off to clean his beloved purple youkata.
“Ah, the fun,” said Misato glumly. “Chun, will you do my nails before work? Since I don’t have to clean any more, I might as well get all pretty.”
Chun nodded with a smile and suggested jade on pink. Sometimes Gojyo felt that all of her bitchiness was personally reserved just for him.
“Is this onii-san really Gojyo-san’s girlfriend?” whispered Yu. Everybody around the table stilled.
“No, of course not, sweetheart. I love only you,” said Gojyo.
“We are just friends,” added Gonou, looking at Gojyo with surprised, round eyes. Yu brightened up and stuffed her face with the food. Rong let out a breath. Chun looked chastised.
“So will the princess help me with the laundry, too?” asked Liang.
“I’d rather appreciate if everyone stopped referring to me in those terms, right now,” Gonou conversationally told his plate.
“Don’t pay any attention. This is them being oddly nice,” said Gojyo. “I think they like you.”
“I sure do,” Wan nodded with great enthusiasm. “If you two are ever bored in your love-shed, let me know.”
Shui winced and tried to cover by taking a sip of tea.
Heng laughed, gave him a pat on the back: “Are you still not over her, man? Come on. You know this girl is living a dream. For some people ‘whore’ is not a job, it’s a calling.”
“Do not touch him,” said Wan. “And address me directly when you’re talking about me.”
“Enough, children,” said Rong. “We’ll finish this dinner quietly.”
After the sun had set and Heng lit a lantern on the front porch, signalling the opening, Rong found Gonou, who was still scrubbing floorboards upstairs, ushered him out of the house and ordered not to show his face around the customers. He entered the back garden, shaking out his tired arms, and smiled to Gojyo, who was sprawled on the grass with a cigarette between his teeth and a can of beer cradled in the crook of his arm, a picture of hedonistic languor.
“Another day off, Gojyo?”
“Seems so. A drink?”
“Yes please. Where do I sleep? I need to be up early to do my chores.”
“Well,” answered Gojyo carefully. “If my bed is not comfy enough, we can arrange for something else.”
“I do not wish to impose…”
Gojyo rolled over and looked up in Gonou’s face with amused red eyes.
“That’s a funny thing to hear from a mass murderer. Did you not think killing all those people was pretty impolite?”
“I told you the whole story…”
“I’m kidding, man. Get down here, it hurts my neck to look up.”
Gonou sat down next to the half-breed, resisting the silly temptation to lift him by the shoulders and drag him closer to rest this gorgeous head on his lap. The hair looked vibrant even in the near-dark and begged to be touched, but Gojyo did not like that, so that impulse had to be suppressed as well. They rested together, silent, watching as the last glimpses of sunlight left the sky and the stars fully took over.
“This is rather pleasant,” said Gonou. It sounded trite and false, but he wanted to start a conversation, because he missed the sound of Gojyo’s voice. “Do you get to do this very often?”
“Let’s not,” said Gojyo. “I’m good with how I live. I know you don’t approve…”
“That’s right, I don’t.”
“Well, I chose this. I will not apologise for it.”
“But you deserve so much better, Gojyo.”
“Oh, don’t,” said Gojyo and turned away from him. “Just shut up.”
He didn’t dare to speak after that, and the silence was sharp and cold, like the damp night air.
“Gojyo!” called Fai from the back porch. “Look after Yu, will you? Liang said she’d go to bed since you are free....”
“Sure. Come here, sweetheart. What’s up?”
Yu let go of Fai’s hand and ran up to Gojyo with a big, bright smile. The boy headed back into the house.
“Rong said she doesn’t want me to meet this ojii-san who just came to visit. She said Wan-chan will like him better than I would,” said Yu, edging around Gonou. He shifted away, and Yu dove for Gojyo, stopping an inch away from crashing into him. “She’ll call me back when someone nice wants to play with me.”
“We’ll just watch the stars till then, shall we? Come on, love, give your Gojyo a hug.”
Yu giggled and tucked her head against his side. He patted her back and took a swig from his beer can.
“This is appalling,” said Gonou, unable to contain himself. “This woman has a mind of a five-year-old. She should not be…”
“She’s a woman, Gonou. We look out for her. She likes to play with nice people. And you wouldn’t believe how well this sells.”
Gonou shuddered and hugged his knees.
“Not everyone needs saving, you know,” said Gojyo and stroked Yu’s hair, mindful of pins and ribbons. “Not everyone wants to be saved.”
“I already know that,” answered Gonou.
Yu turned over, grabbed Gojyo’s hand and, staring up into the dark sky, started to murmur a song devoid of any melody. Soft sounds broke the silence, made it less ominous. After a while Liang trotted through the yard, clutching a plain robe around herself, sat next to them and lit a pipe.
“Can’t sleep, beautiful?” inquired Gojyo.
“Too noisy in there. Now I remember why I never go to bed at reasonable time. They keep me up till all hours, and then expect the laundry to be done when they wake up. I’m too old for this shit.”
“Nonsense. You’ll outlive us all.”
“Am I older than Liang-san?” asked Yu.
“No.”
“Am I older than Gojyo-san?”
“Yes.”
“Am I older than Fai-kun?”
Gojyo groaned and drained his beer in one gulp. Liang cackled.
“How are the stars stuck up to there? Why aren’t they falling?”
“Sometimes they do,” said Gonou. “In autumn, when all the leaves turn red and yellow. If you see a falling star, you have to make a wish. What would you wish for, Yu-san?”
She stilled, peering at him with cautious black eyes.
“Come on, sweetheart, you can tell him,” urged Gojyo.
“For sponge cake,” she said quietly. “And to be as pretty as Chun-chan. And for Rong to never be sad. And for silk blue ribbons.”
“You are already pretty, but the rest of your wishes are very good. What about you, Liang-san?”
“Would be nice to be twenty again. Then, boy, we’d have a whole different conversation.”
“Oh, I’m sure you still a heartbreaker, Liang-san. Gojyo, what about you?”
“And what about you, Gonou?”
It was so dark by now that Gonou could hardly see his face. The whites of the eyes, occasional flash of teeth, glowing tip of the cigarette. He looked, question forgotten, until Liang rose to her feet and tugged Yu along.
“Come on, girl, let’s go look at the fish in our pond.”
“Aren’t they asleep?” enquired Yu. “Won’t we wake them up?”
They left, and the men stayed alone in the dark, listening to the sounds from the forest behind them, noises from the house they’ve been facing.
“Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!” monotonously screamed somebody from the inside, startling Gonou. Gojyo laughed.
“Chun is a terrible faker, isn’t she? Do you want to go to bed?”
“…Ah. Maybe I’m not taking this the right way.”
“Maybe you are.”
Gonou tried to think. It was almost impossible, because Gojyo turned toward him and his every breath was scorching Gonou’s naked arm like fire.
“Look, I only ask because I thought… Oh, forget it.”
“No, no, Gojyo. It’s just… It’s not fair on you. I won’t be here for long. It will be easier to part if we don’t.”
“For all I know…” Gojyo lit yet another cigarette, sucked on it greedily, and a flare illuminated his face, striking features, old scars, dark eyes. “We’re normally safe here, but sometimes things get out of control. Sometimes Rong is too late to step in; sometimes she can’t, because of who the customers are. So. I might be carrying something. For all I know, I might not even be here for as long as you. Is it fairer on me now?”
“No, I don’t believe it is,” said Gonou, carefully took a cigarette out of Gojou’s lips, put it out and found those lips again, in pitch-black darkness, by sheer instinct.
Next day Rong sprang onto unsuspecting Gonou as he was stripping the beds, backed him into the corner and hissed:
“Please tell me I didn’t make a mistake.”
He pretended not to understand.
“He’s not better. He’s even weirder than before. I was hoping you’d make it better. What did you do to him?”
“What did you expect?” asked he, gently but firmly pushing the woman away. “He doesn’t want to be made better. Even the possibility of dying does not upset him. And I am hardly in a position to help anyone. My God, is that really why you made me stay here?”
“This boy brings in a lot of money,” said Rong sharply. “And he’s fading away. I want to keep him.”
“It might be a moot point.”
“Then again, it might not.”
“Maybe the best thing I can do for him is to leave right now and spare him any more pain.”
“Did you see his face last time you tried?”
Gonou threw down an armful of dirty sheets he was sill holding and stared straight into her narrowed eyes.
“Please do not pretend to care. You disgust me. You are using these people, making money out of their misfortune and misery.”
“Don’t you get on a high horse with me, killer. All the kids are welcome to leave. It’s just that they have no better place to go.”
He pushed past her and walked towards the exit, fuming, until he heard raised voices.
“…Someone even more pathetic than you?”
“Don’t you dare, you stupid girl. Don’t you even…”
“Gojyo?”
They turned toward him, his redhead and that Chun person. All anger drained from Gojyo’s face at once. Chun turned on her heel, swishing bright silks around, and left in a huff.
Gojyo stepped up to Gonou, wound long muscled arms around his neck.
“You smell so good. Are you done?”
“For now,” said Gonou, rested his face on Gojyo’s shoulder and hugged his tall form as tightly as he dared without causing any pain. Gojyo smelled of tobacco, fresh grass and sunlight, and his skin tasted salty-sweet in a way that clouded all senses and made Gonou shiver with an inexorable rush of lust. He never thought he would feel this way so soon after seeing Kanan’s body twisting inside that cage, draining itself of lifeblood, he never thought he’d ever get to feel this way again at all. But this was temporary, and therefore not a betrayal. It was allowed.
Warm lips kissed a wet trail up the side of his face, clever tongue tickled his ear between the limiters. A body pressed against his was coming alive, pulse quickening, skin warming up, manhood rapidly swelling in the confines of his tight clothing.
“I want you,” breathed Gojyo right into his ear, tickling sensitive places with wet warmth, making him squirm and momentarily loose his knees. “I can’t help myself. You are so pretty. Is it okay if I call you that?”
Gonou’s mouth painfully twisted into a smile. He tried to shake off his conscience and lose himself inside this hot current that bounced between them, and it was so very easy to cleave to this man and to love him with all that was left of his heart that he had to struggle to hold back tears.
“I want you too,” he said, gently rocking them back and forth. “Can we?”
“Now?”
“Yes, please.”
And Gojyo smiled, kissed him on the lips and took him back to the little drafty shed where he slept alone, away from the humans, and laid them on his thin mattress. They peeled of their clothes, searing skin with gentle, slow caresses, and Gonou remembered precisely why tenderness hurt so much worse than the claws.
Gojyo perched himself on the railing and thoughtfully looked at the clouds. After a little nap and some cleaning Gonou ran away to busy himself with housework, and Gojyo did not stop him, didn’t even offer a hand. He smoked, and stared up in the sky, and thought about nothing in particular.
“How’s the honeymoon?” asked Rong right beside his ear, and he nearly toppled over. She had a nasty habit of sneaking up on people.
“Great. I think I’m in love.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Never said I wasn’t. He’s leaving, you know.”
“You’re very slow on the uptake, too.”
“No, he’s already not here. I see it on him every time I look. Can I work tonight?”
She glanced at him with her cold brown eyes. Long eyelashes were heavy with mascara even this early in the day, and he could still see how she must have looked fifteen years ago, almost as stunning as Chun is now.
“Sure, kid.”
His desperation must have been all over his face, because he was the first one to be taken that night. He didn’t even spare a look at the customer. Couldn’t have picked him from the line-up or anything. He was short, but that was about it.
“Come on, big guy, bend over.”
Gonou smiled when he told him he was going to work. That is, his mouth smiled, and his eyes did something too, but it was something different. He told Gojyo to be careful. Said he’d wait up, unless Rong says it’s an all-nighter. Said he’d chill some beers in case Gojyo would want a drink after work, said he’d bring a deck of cards from the house in case they’d want a late game of poker.
“That’s it. No so tough now, are you?”
Heng had gone into town in the afternoon. Said someone was around, asking questions about Cho Gonou, green-eyed twenty-year-old murderer. Swore to Gojyo he didn’t tell anything, not a word, not to a soul. What’s the point, anyway. He’ll leave, even if no one will come for him.
“You like this, don’t you. You worthless, filthy slut. Yes, do that again.”
Worthless, filthy. It rang in his ears like a mantra. Worthless. Filthy. Only right now it was okay, because he was paying. Because he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Worthless and filthy the way he truly was, and it felt so right, like a weight falling off his back, like a sore tooth being wrenched from his jaw.
“Wait there, don’t get up. I think I have another one for you. That’s… oh… Come on, do it, whore, do it…”
He did. He was good at it.
Then he was alone in the room, with a cigarette the guy gave him, limply sitting on the bed, staring into space and thinking about Gonou. How he laughed when he really was amused. How his breath caught when his sweet spots were kissed just right. The way he breathed his name…
“Gojyo.”
Thin wiry body pressed against his naked back, only a cotton shirt between them. Gojyo leaned back and let himself endlessly fall into waiting arms.
“Someone will see you.”
“No, I climbed through the window. I’ve missed you.”
“Don’t, Gonou, don’t kiss me, I’m dirty.”
“I don’t care. Are you done?”
“I’ll go back downstairs. There might be more work.”
“Ah. Of course. I understand.”
Gonou kissed him some more, on the neck, behind the ears, on the shoulders, then slid off the bed and climbed out of the window into the warm night. Gojyo went back, but there was no more work for him that day. When he scrubbed himself clean and returned to the shed, Gonou was waiting for him in bed with eyes wide opened and bright.
“Come here,” he said, and Gojyo wasn’t tired any more.
It all ended the very next day, while they were still cleaning up after dinner.
“Oh shit,” said Fai, looking out of the window. “Someone’s coming. I think it’s him. Oh shit.”
Rong looked and swore with a flair even Gojyo didn’t possess.
“It’s him.”
“Is it too late to torch the house? I mean, maybe a small fire in the kitchen, panic and scramble till he gets bored and fucks off…” suggested Shui. Rong looked at him for a moment, clearly considering, then shook her head.
“You people are supposed to be professionals. You can manage. Wan, you go.”
“Me?” asked Wan, turning ash-grey. “Why me?”
“Rong, it’s all right, I’ll do him,” said Gojyo.
“You’re hardly his type. Even Shui won’t do, not mentioning Heng.”
“But why me?” moaned Wan, wringing her hands.
“Well, who else? Fai and Chun bring in the rent money, I won’t have him put any of them out of commission. And I don’t think he’d go for Misato.”
“Thank fuck for that,” said the girl in question. “Knew it would eventually pay off to look like a horse.”
“Wan, do you want me to give him Yu?”
“Of course not. But…”
“Do what he says, and you’ll be fine,” said Rong as the doorbell rang. “Killer, take the kids out back, I don’t want him to see them.”
Gonou opened the back door and let out Chun, Fai and Yu, who grabbed the boy’s hand.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“I’ll explain, come on,” said Fai, impatiently tugging on his sleeve. “We have to go.”
Rong returned from the door with their guest, bowing like a wooden toy on a string.
“We are not open yet, please forgive the mess.”
“That’s fine. Couldn’t wait, I’m in the mood right now. Say…”
His eyes circled the room and stopped on Wan, who was visibly shaking and clutching her simple house youkata with sweat-dampened palms.
“Not much choice, I see. Well…”
He grabbed Wan’s chin, tilted her face back. The girl grimaced, trying to hold still. Shui jumped forward, but Heng neatly caught him in the neckhold and pulled him away through the kitchen.
“Smile for our guest, Wan,” said Rong.
“No manners, huh? A bit naughty, this one?” the man stroked her pale face with his knuckles, and she made a little choked sound.
Gojyo sauntered up to the man, put a hand on his elbow and grinned.
“Hi, handsome.”
“The fuck?” he bared his teeth and pushed Gojyo away, squarely in the chest. Gojyo bounced back, still smiling. “I don’t go for this kind of stuff. Rong, tell you whores not to be so grabby.”
“Ah, give me a chance,” purred Gojyo. “Think about it, you can play as rough as you like. I don’t break.”
He tossed his hair back, giving clear view of the scars, lowered his eyes just enough to still be able to glance up through the lashes. Victim here.
The guy was wavering, so Gojyo decided to push. He ran a hand down the man’s arm, slid it across the torso, lightly brushed the front of the trousers. The man slightly swayed in place, and Gojyo moved, clung to him like a thorny vine and planted a sloppy kiss near his mouth. That got a good reaction.
“Bitch,” hissed the man, recoiling, shuddering with mingled disgust and desire. He grabbed Gojyo by the hair and dragged him towards the stairs. Score.
Behind them, Wan was crying.
The pain was sharp and direct. It made everything else fade out of the focus. It made his terrified body scream with a will to live, and the mind couldn’t help but follow. He tugged on his bonds, struggling to stay awake, suddenly aware how great his life has actually been, smiled and got punched in the mouth. The sight of blood made the man grow instantly harder.
And then the pain was gone all of a sudden, leaving him empty and floating. Very far away someone was screaming, but Gojyo was certain it was no longer him.
His body really wanted to rest, but Rong’s smelling salts could probably resurrect the long dead. He scowled, coughed and tried to push the evil witch away, only his arms were too heavy. He was held. He didn’t want to be held, not any more, but the warmth of the flesh was disarming, and he twisted in agony, tossing his ringing head.
“It’s me, Gojyo,” said Gonou, and everything was all right.
Wait. Nothing was all right.
Gojyo opened his eyes all the way and saw morbid-looking Rong, Gonou with his right eye all bruised and bloodied, Wan, who was fiercely biting her finely painted fingernails, and a very unattractive crying girl with red and puffy face, who for some reason wore Chun’s silk robes.
“Please forgive me, Gojyo,” said Gonou. “I couldn’t. I’d decided not to meddle in your life. I wanted you to do what you chose for yourself. But I couldn’t. I can’t save you, but I can’t do nothing, either. Please forgive me.”
“What did you do?” asked Gojyo, suddenly feeling very cold. “Did you kill him? Do we have mayor’s son’s corpse right here?”
“No, we’re fine,” said Rong, rubbing blood off her hand. “Mayor’s son got attacked by a criminal on a run… We have no idea how he got in here… But I’ve saved him thanks to my personal bravery and deep care for valuable customers.”
“Did she give you that shiner?” asked Gojyo. Gonou looked away, quite humbled.
“Heng and Shui took that scum to a hospital, and then, after a nice meal and a game of mahjong, they will rush straight to the temple, asking for their help in subduing this monster. Rest is up to you,” said Rong. “And thanks for the show. Always wanted to see that bastard scream like a girl.”
“You have to run,” said Gojyo, clutching Gonou’s hand. The youkai looked back at him, blinking:
“Where would I run, Gojyo?”
“Away. I need you alive. Hide, I will find you. Please, run.”
“I’ll be caught eventually, and we might never meet again. I’d rather stay with you for as long as we have.”
“Oh, Gojyo, and you are fired,” said Rong.
“Whaaat?” yelped Gojyo, jumping up and collapsing back into Gonou’s arms. Nothing about his body worked the way it was supposed to, courtesy of those knocks on a head he took. “What the hell did I do? I didn’t do anything wrong, you vicious bitch!”
“You no longer have what it takes, kid, that’s all.”
Gojyo curled in on himself, terrified and nauseous. He could barely move his body at the moment, his head spun, fogging the vision, pain was everywhere, and he couldn’t even tell where that everywhere was. What happened to him? Did he lose a limb? Was he finally scarred in a way no one could find attractive? Was he mortally wounded? No, she would hardly bother firing him then…
“You should run away together,” said Wan. “I’ll give you some money so you can travel faster. Chun, will you buy my earrings?”
Red and puffy girl sobbed something inaudible, sniffling and smearing makeup all over her face.
“Do you want to?” asked Gojyo.
“You are hardly in any condition to travel,” said Gonou, stroking his shoulder.
“I’ll manage. If you want me to come along, I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want us to die running. Gojyo, please, be reasonable. I’m sure Rong-san will retract her idiotic decision to dismiss you.”
Rong slapped him upside the head and glared daggers, but before she got to say anything, Shui burst in, breathless.
“They’re coming. They’ve found out somehow, they’re almost here.”
“That’s it,” said Gonou. “Thank you for your hospitality and acquaintance, everyone. Gojyo, please take care of yourself. You are very important to me. I only wish we had longer together.”
“Cho Gonou, I presume,” grated the voice that instantly made every Gojyo’s nerve vibrate with, possibly, irritation. “Come with me.”
Gonou’s death stood in front of them, dressed in white robes and tight black leather.
“No,” said Gojyo and dragged himself upright. “You will not take him. Not now. Not fucking now, when I finally found him.”
The man grimaced in exasperation. He had a face of a very grouchy angel, droopy eyes of startling colour and hair like pure liquid gold, bright and shiny.
“Stand in my way, punk, and get squashed to a pulp. This is your last warning.”
“Gojyo,” started Gonou from behind him, trying to softly hold him back and push aside, but Gojyo shook him off and jumped the gold-haired jerk, aiming to punch him right in his too-perfect face.
He was pretty sure he would have connected, if a twelve-year-old hadn’t appeared from nowhere and kicked him straight into the far wall.
Gojyo opened his eyes and saw an open window with striped curtain and a sad potted plant on the windowsill. To the left of the window there was an empty small bookcase, to the right – framed print featuring ducks and ducklings. Wallpaper was yellow and peeling, and the ceiling was full of cracks.
“This is kinda disappointing,” he said, trying to figure out what did he expect. Prison? Hell? Bitchy blond angels in leather?
“Sorry about that,” said Gonou. “I was aiming for ‘affordable’, actually.”
He was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, his bent legs slung over Gojyo. He wore Gojyo’s old sweater and pyjama pants, his hair was cut shorter than before, and he was calmly reading a tattered book.
Gojyo blinked. It didn’t help, so he blinked again.
“Didn’t they get you?”
“Yes.”
“So what happened?”
“They killed me,” said Gonou, and Gojyo’s heart fell for a moment even though it was completely stupid. “It was a lovely, thoughtful ritual. They gave me a new name and a new chance at life. So I rented this place for a week. We can move, if you don’t like it.”
The place was a total dump. The only things ruining the ensemble were a huge flower arrangement in a beautiful ornate vase, an embroidered purse lying next to it on a stained table, and Gonou himself.
“Oh, these are from your former co-workers. Chun-san painted the vase herself. She’s very talented, don’t you think?”
“Huh?”
“She has a bit of a crush on you.”
“Huh??”
“And Rong-san brought your money.”
“She what?”
“She said you hardly ever cashed your earnings, so when she deducted all the alcohol you’ve drank from the bar, and, as she said, food and board were free for all employees…” Gonou stated the amount, and Gojyo started hyperventilating. Gonou slid off the bed, gave him a glass of water and climbed back.
“So that’s how you could afford the rent,” said Gojyo after calming down. “But why this? With that kind of money you could straight out buy a much better place and a widescreen TV, and still have some left for the beer.”
“Oh no, that’s your money, Gojyo. I took an advance payment from our new employer. Sanzo hoshi-sama… you’ve met him… needed a couple of, I quote, filthy non-humans to do his dirty work. Or just the work he doesn’t feel like doing himself. I’ve signed us up.”
“Why?”
“Why not? The pay is relatively good, and we don’t mind it rough. I’m also tutoring the little boy who beat you up.”
“I was hoping I’ve hallucinated that.”
“He’s very sweet, you’ll get along.”
There was a pause. Gonou’s eyes were trained on the book, but didn’t move along the rows.
“I asked a doctor to look at you, he assured me you’ll be perfectly fine by the end of the week. Gojyo… I need to ask. I didn’t mean for this to be too, ah, intense and awkward, but I need to be sure.”
“Just say it, will you?”
“Do you want me here?”
Gojyo smiled and tugged on his sleeve until Gonou was lying next to him, face just inches away.
“Nothing changed, really. I’m still a murderer. I’m still haunted. I still love someone else,” said Gonou. His eyes were very sad, but there was a light Gojyo rarely saw there before, and he didn’t even care if a certain cranky blond put it there.
“And I’m still me. So what? We’ll make it work. As long as you don’t leave.”
“Oh no, I believe I’m home, ” said Gonou and leaned in for a kiss. Gojyo stopped him a breath away and clarified:
“We are moving, though, right?”
“Yes, it was a metaphor. We can move, if you want.”
“Good.”
And they kissed until he got tired, after which Gonou tucked him in, told him to rest and woke him up several hours later with another kiss and a somewhat dubious home-cooked dinner.
But that’s a whole different life.
Omake
Boys are gathered round, perusing a copy of “Crime and Punishment”
Gojyo: Poor girl! At least my stepmother only wanted to kill me, not sell my body.
Sanzo: (snorts) Yeah, keep giving them ideas.
Goku: Sanzo’s part got shortened. (pouts) If she did it by the book as she promised, he’d be one of the main characters!
Sanzo: It’s called “keeping a low profile”, monkey. I’d only agreed to a cameo to distract her from thinking about casting you as a drunk, underage victim of sexual assault.
Hakkai: At least that’s in the book.
Goku: So who was the… (quickly leafs through the tome)… who was my molester?
Gojyo: And why was I injured all the frigging time? How was I supposed to be a valuable employee if I was constantly on a sick leave?
Hakkai: That was hurt-comfort, apparently (pats Gojyo’s ass. Gojyo winces.) I’m just glad we didn’t have to move to Siberia.
Sanzo: (strokes gun) I’d explained to her that it’s not westward.
Hakkai: Ooh, look, in this book my sister doesn’t die! That’s nice. She gets together with my friend. Excuse me? (rereads frantically)
Gojyo: But…I’m your friend, so... Yay, threesome!
Hakkai: Aah, classical literature.
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AU Saiyuki fic can spawn the most amazing things, if you just look in the right places.
This is really well-done. The characterization of Gojyo and Gonou rings really true. This gets bookmarked to re-read.
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And the omake made me giggle:
Gojyo: But…I’m your friend, so... Yay, threesome!
Hakkai: Aah, classical literature.
I firmly believe that classic lit is tragically overlooked as a source for good slash. Tragic!
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AND you've recced it!!! Yay! *bounces* I've been recced. Wheee!
You're right about spacing, thanks for the tip!
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Oh, I'm sorry. *evil giggles*
Thank you!
And so, so true about the classics. I remember being terribly confused back in school by all the male bonding happening in 18-19 century novels. Hand holding, kissing, weirdly intense conversations. In "Crime and Punishment" Rasumikhin's crush on Raskolnikov almost reaches Frodo/Sam proportions. The sister was totally a substitute!
(I think I've just figured out why most female charas in those books are so bland. It's because they are basically beards.)
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It was a real challenge not to let the OFCs constantly mother the hell out of Gojyo ^_^ Well, Hakkai will manage that task on his own.
Thank you!
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I know, I normally am scared of AUs, but Saiyuki AUs work for me (that challenge on
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Hm, maybe there were ones before and I just can't remember?
How old are they, by the way? In the movies they tend to lean toward middle-agey, which ticks me off, 'cause I remember that in the book at least D'Artagnan was barely legal...
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please forgive me for being so late in getting to read this. Remember what I said about my being in love with your writing and your ideas? Make it a definite. Gojyo and Gonou, how I adore the two of them in this. It is the amazing way you manage to keep them in character despite the fic being an AU. I love the way you let the two of them fall in love, (dragging Gonou kicking and screaming, and letting Gojyo fall where it may.) I just love it. Oh, and the way Gojyo perceives Sanzo and Goku, absolutely pricelss ^_^ And I haven't this happy with an ending for a very loong time. Can't wait to see more of your fics.
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(And your icon is so perfect. Much icon love!)
I admit, I just love Gojyo and Hakkai and I want to see them fall in love over and over again in all possible AUs. When it's angst-free, it's so lovely and sweet (Have you read
So happy you liked the ending! My crazy love for volume 5 made it sort of unevitable. And I still say canon Gojyo has the hots for Sanzo. He loves Hakkai, sure, but... ^_^
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Yes! I love reading about them, in every possible way, good AUs about them makes me giggle in delirous happiness. (Have indeed read 'October,' make me all happy. I admit though, well I like happy fics, I absolutely love fics where bad things happen, but it all ends happily, or as happily as it can gets with the guys.) Mad RABU ending! Volume 5 make many a thing possible (HAKKAI! GOJYO!)
(Total agreement on canon Gojyo having the hot for Sanzo. Love for Hakkai but definitely a healthy dose of lust for sanzo. Mind you, since I can see Sanzo and Hakkai involved in one form or another, I'm really all for threesome once in awhile. (As long as everyon knows who belongs to who after the sex <_<)
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The characterization, the character development, the plot, the pacing, the intensity, wow.
So many vivid scenes, so many perfect lines. The original characters are all amazingly real, and like everything else in this story, each one brings something to the story and makes it so much better.
I love the way you had them initially pushing each others' buttons, and yet drawn to each other in spite of it, or perhaps even because of it. I love how you show how they have fallen in love before either of them has even begun to recognize it, when Gonou attempts to leave after confessing he's a murderer. I love how Rong *does* recognize that they've fallen in love, and how she reponds. I love Rong thoughout this story.
Lines that really made me melt, or whimper, or chuckle, or agh!, or otherwise make my housemate look over and ask "what *are* you reading?":
His glances were like knives, chilling the skin and going straight though.
"... Even now, the more I ache for her, the more I desecrate her memory. Why is that?”
...but after you killed the bad mirror you kinda started clawing at your eyes.
Gojyo leaned back and let himself endlessly fall into waiting arms.
It all ended the very next day, while they were still cleaning up after dinner.
“It’s me, Gojyo,” said Gonou, and everything was all right.
Gonou’s death stood in front of them, dressed in white robes and tight black leather.
and of course:
But that’s a whole different life.
Um... I don't mean to presume, but as I said, I fell in love with this fic, and so I would like to suggest a few things to polish it, as a late beta-reader -- verb tenses and words left out, that kind of thing. Could I email you about it?
And I hope you don't mind if I also friend you?
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it. It is going in my memories.
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Thank you. So much.
This
And, oh wow, hope you don't mind but I'm friending you too, so much tasty ficness to read! Yay!
You know how it's pretty much a safe bet that if someone likes your fics you'll probably love theirs, because you obviously have somewhat similar tastes? *grins*
and so I would like to suggest a few things to polish it, as a late beta-reader -- verb tenses and words left out, that kind of thing. Could I email you about it?
Could you??? Oh god, you're incredible. That would be fantastic! Wow. My email address is newkate@mail.ru *hugs* Thank you!
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Суперский фик! Спасибо тебе огромное, что пишешь такие чуда!
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*восторженно скачет по комнате*
Ох, как я рада! Спасибо тебе огромаднейшее! С одной стороны, я паникую, что составляю тут искаженное представление о неизведанном еще каноне, но с другой стороны, где наша не пропадала ^_^
Ураааа!!!
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А что там было в каноне за убийство?
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А Годжо, конечно, никакой проституцией в каноне не занимался (мне так стыдно), жил, как герой Хмелевской, на что в карты выиграет. Нашел раненого Гоно на тропинке, приволок к себе домой, отпаивал его там кофе целый месяц. Так и познакомились. Обожаю этот канон. *яростно шипперствует*
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Ой, влип парниша. А екаи его - такого - принимают как своего?
на что в карты выиграет
А что, тоже романтично :)
О, представляю, сколько там слэшных намеков в процессе выхаживания было!
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Вообще-то да, но он не стремится к общению с ними. Остался все-таки неприятный осадок после истории с сестрой ^_^ Все эти три года, до собственно путешествия на Запад в джипе, они с Годжо жили в человеческом городе (ага, вместе!) и успешно косили под людей.
О, представляю, сколько там слэшных намеков в процессе выхаживания было!
Ооо, это да! А когда еще и Санзо пришел арестовывать убийцу, так и вообще...
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/пошла докачивать Гайден, вернусь нескоро :)/
А когда еще и Санзо пришел арестовывать убийцу, так и вообще
OT3!!!
А, еще мне джип-дракончик дико нравится :)
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<3
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*howls with laughter*
And uber-yay for the ending! Memories and rereading for sure!! XD
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It's amazing how this is growing on me! I keep coming back to it.
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I don't know if you're even writing in the Saiyuki fandom any more, but would you mind if I friended you just in case you decide to again? Oh, and if you're fine on friends and don't particularly need another, no worries. *g* Cheers, Pine
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yay threesome!
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“Nothing changed, really. I’m still a murderer. I’m still haunted. I still love someone else,” said Gonou.
i loved that so much and i can't even explain why.
thank you for writing this. ♥