Merlin fic: Star Warlocks

[new_kate]

A movie fusion thingie for reel_merlin

Title: Star Warlocks
Prompt: Star Wars
Rating: R
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word count: 22K
Summary: A long time ago (in the 1970s), in a galaxy far, far away, a country boy named Merlin sets out to save a young senator (also a prince) Arthur from the clutches of the nefarious Darth Uther. With the help of a dashing smuggler and her first mate, he rescues Arthur and falls in love with him. But then Darth Uther totally strikes back, and angst ensues.
Warnings: crack, recreational drug use, forced intoxication, unsafe sex (it's the 1970s okay), dubcon due to intoxication, captivity, violence, war, mentions of siblingcest.

In celebration of my love for the original Star Wars trilogy, I cheerfully fuck over all the plot and characters. I'm generally all about Han/Leia, but that's not quite how this worked out.

Many thanks to cor_leonis_1961 for fantastic beta work and to lolafeist and ella_bane for cheerleading and support, and to colacube for running this crazy fest with poise and grace!

Read on AOOO

Comments

[rotrude.livejournal.com]

I have great amounts of love for you just for the choice of prompt! I'll have read this before the week is out and I'll come back for more gushing.

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

Haha thank you! These two stories map together surprisingly well. It's all about daddy issues after all :)

[tarteaucitron.livejournal.com]

leon is chewbacca! :O

you've got me. if i ever get 2 seconds together again, this is top of my to-do.

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

ahaha well I don't know who can better represent wookie race than Sir Lovely Hair. :) hope you like it!

[gilli-ann.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, this was a total riot from first till last! I literally giggled, snickered and laughed out loud again and again. Love your snark and your perfect eye for parody. The only reason I'm not quoting all my favourite lines is that the comment would be too long. Have to say though that horny drugged Arthur in the first chapter, and the subsequent misunderstanding and delicious snarking between him and Merlin were highlights. As was certainly Arthur in his silken-ribboned chastity belt, the fact that Darth Uther at one point seemed to be *everyone's* father, the description of Balinor, and more so Balinor's airy-fairy philosophy speechifying. I totally felt like I myself had smoked something, reading that! And those entirely unique joints of his...! I am sad though that the original Star Wars missed out on mentioning that when a man's body is half-machine, there is only so long you can lead him around by his dick if he doesn't have one. That pretty much capped it all. Bravo! :D

I really needed something lighthearted and fun and cracky just now, you came to my rescue like Merlin to Arthur's, mind and wit and verbal magic a-blazing. Imperial gold star of the highest order for you!

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I had such a blast writing it. So glad it could cheer you up at the right moment! Oh, I had to include Arthur in metal bikini scene - although nothing would have made me write about ewoks. Ew, ewoks.

So happy you liked! eee, gold star! *salutes*

[hibem.livejournal.com]

Why why why do I now have an unshakable mental image of Morgana getting it on with ginger Leonbacca? This is some grade-A ultra pure crack and no mistake.

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *squish* Also, you have that mental image because that's hot, okay :) Dammit, there's just not enough Chewbacca porn out there - the only one I've ever read was about him doing Jack Harkness from Torchwood. It was awesome.

Aw man, every time you read my stories it makes me so happy. So happy. I'm watching Tiger and Bunny! Shared fandoms FTW!

[hibem.livejournal.com]

Chewy/Jack Harkness??????? *brainsplody*

Yayyy! Tiger & Bunny! That show is so ludicrously fanservicey. FTW indeed!

Frankly, I'm kind of astounded at how sprawlingly huge Merlin fandom is. I guess it's mostly British, though??

[rotrude.livejournal.com]

Oh my this was super entertaining. Arthur is practically Leia and Leon... sporfle. Though he has the hair. I absolutely love how you used the best moments in the Star Wars saga -- I am you father, heee -- and sometimes turned them around or applied them to different charcaters so Merlin has a Han Solo moment but is otherwise a jedi a warlock knight à la Luke. This was a thorough reading romp: adored the humour, adored the plot, and enjoyed the hell out of every single Merlin/Arthur moment.

And you didn't kill off Gaius!

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

He totally has the hair! Mmm, luscious hair. Haha yes, I gave Merlin all the best adventures from all the characters. Oh worst... Sorry, Merlin!

So glad you liked the story! Thank you so much!

[archaeologist-d.livejournal.com]

That was hilarious. I loved that Darth Uther - Uther! told Merlin a lie and had him doubting himself. Loved that Balinor was Yoda but with better hair and smoking weed. Just so funny.

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! So happy you liked. It was so much fun to write, and I always wanted Merlin to have spent more time with Balinor in canon, so a bit of wish fulfilment there. Aw Balinor.

Though to be fair, having a better hair than Yoda? Not much of an accomplishment! :D poor Yoda.

[dobbtor.livejournal.com]

Great writing! I want you to follow up to this topic!?!

[drarryisgreen]

holy shit. i just randomly came across your page thru some merlin recs... and omg. i love love love slightly obsess star wars so I am really looking fwd to reading this. that is all. :D