The Wheel - Part three concluded!
Aug. 29th, 2005 11:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
new_kateTitle: The Wheel
Author: Newkate
Fandom: Saiyuki
Warnings: Reincarnation fic. NC-17 for yet more m/m smut, some language, violence and other disturbing things.
Betaed by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hibem.
Part One: Shift
Part Two: Dance
Part 3: Experiment (Ch. 4 of 4)
Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3
Eric was on the thankfully short list of the members of our staff who had to submit their weekly tests to me personally, so next time I saw him he was in the Lab Two, sprawled in the chair, right ring finger raised and extended to me, like a sacrifice.
“How are you feeling today, Colonel?” I asked in my best “doctor” voice.
“Good, thank you,” he flashed me a brilliant smile. “A little tender in places, but very good. What about you, Professor?”
“Never better, actually,” I took the offered hand, brushed a thumb against his palm while disinfecting the skin, quickly stabbed a needle into the fingertip and squeezed the wounded finger until large enough droplet of blood swelled from the wound. Quick swipe of a glass slide against it – and then I had to cover it with a tiny band-aid, regretting, as usually, that I knew too much about bacteria to lick it better.
I was still smoothing the band-aid over his skin when he surged up, grabbed my face between his palms and caught me into a hot, urgent, deep open-mouthed kiss. I didn’t fight it, hoping that he still remembered about the proper decorum and thought to check for possible witnesses; I didn’t want to fight it, in all honesty.
“My place tonight,” he said, pulling back only a little, so his lips brushed my skin as they moved. “I have something for you. Will you come?”
“Of course,” I said, slightly stunned. He kissed me again, harder this time, making out teeth clash a little, let go of me and left swiftly, without turning back.
When I finally made it to Eric’s quarters that night, he was sitting on his neatly made bed fully clothed, and his face was so blank and empty he hardly even looked like himself.
“So, what was that you wanted to show me?” I asked, shocked by the sound of my own voice, so obviously forced and fake, hoping against hope all my instincts were wrong and this wasn’t the end of the line for me.
“Lock the door,” said Eric, and after I complied, understanding how futile it would be to try and resist a Chief of security in the middle of his underground military installation, he flung a small battered player on the bed and pressed the remote.
I stood there, leaning against the door to take some weight off my shaking knees and listened to my own recorded voice, familiar and alien at the same time, casually talking about treason, conspiracy and sabotage, signing my own death warrant over and over.
It wasn’t even that much of a surprise. Deep down I knew where things were heading, all the signs were there: little changes in his behaviour, strange hints he’d drop as if to gauge my reaction, actions even his devil-may-care attitude could not explain. I knew he was becoming a threat, I knew what steps needed to be taken, yet I did nothing. I pretended not to notice and I let it happen. I’d betrayed Kieran’s trust, gambled my own life away and let down the whole world, all for…
And the funniest thing? I didn’t even know what for, exactly.
“Is this all you have?” I asked after the minute-long snippet of my monologue finished playing. I remembered the conversation. I was talking to Kieran, of course, but couldn’t remember if I used his name and wasn’t sure if the recording device, which probably was planted on me, was powerful enough to capture the other side of the chat.
“I think I have enough to get Flaherty-Junior brought in for questioning. Not the Senator, though. It doesn’t really matter, I’m sure you know enough to bury them both, and with today’s interrogation techniques - don’t take it personally, but you wouldn’t last a day.”
Kieran and his uncle had diplomatic immunity; if there was not enough evidence to revoke it without going through proper channels, they were probably safe. I’ve arranged for them to be alerted as soon as the enquiry starts; Kieran assured me they could be out of the country in a matter of hours in case of emergency.
Eric finally glanced up to meet my eyes. He looked tired and worn out, years older than his age, and he has gone so pale those tiny freckles on the bridge of his nose stood out, clearly visible. I’ve never really allowed myself to think how much this would hurt him in the end, and this was not the time to start. I needed all my strength for what was to come, and I suspected that before the end of the week I’d have atoned for this sin tenfold anyway.
“I’m sorry,” said Eric, echo to the thoughts I refused to acknowledge.
“Whatever for? It was always the most likely end. I’ve been ready for this from the beginning.”
He was waiting for something. Probably an explanation: how could I, what possessed me to become a traitor, what the hell was I thinking. Maybe he expected me to apologize for using him as I did. Maybe he wanted me to admit that I’ve underestimated him as an opponent.
I crossed the room and sat down on his bed, with the player of doom between us. He sighed at the corny symbolism and moved in onto the desk.
“When did you first begin to suspect me?” I asked. “I would like to know where I fucked it all up.”
He gave me a weak, shaky smile.
“I think it was something you said. Now, what was it – oh yes. ‘Colonel Swenson, is it? I was just heading out to get some lunch, would you care to join me?’”
I was looking at him, wordless, waiting for this to make some kind of sense, and he kept smiling at me, sadly and almost apologetically, like a kicked dog.
“Akiyama, people like you don’t just happen to people like me. When you started hitting on me, I knew there was something you wanted. And the only thing I had was my security access, so…”
“I can’t believe the Armageddon will come not because I’ve been outsmarted by a worthy adversary, but because my boyfriend is an insecure, twisted jerk,” I said, suddenly angry at him almost as much as I was angry at myself.
“Armageddon?”
“Don’t try to change the subject, Swenson! If that’s what you thought of me, why am I even here? Why this goodbye, why not simply hand me over to…”
“I wanted to talk to you. For a while now. I wanted to meet the real you. That’s all,” he shrugged, studying his shoes. “Is that too much to ask?”
“I’m…” I mumbled, suddenly caught flatfooted. “Y-you know, I’m not really that different.”
He giggled, turned toward me, touched my face with cautious, careful hands, as if willing his fingertips to memorize the feel of my skin, and sighed:
“I guess I’ll never know.”
“Well,” I said, shaking again, searching for a witty repartee and some kind of sure-fire way to stifle the panic that was finally coming after the first wave of cold shock. Every passing minute could turn out to be my last, any moment now he could decide he had enough and throw me to the lions, and that would be death, only drawn out for several weeks or months or however long it would take them to make sure I’m no longer useful. “Well. Let’s try anyway.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said, not resisting as I pulled off his uniform jacket.
“Well, this is my last wish. Before I leave, I want you to sleep with me just because you want to. I need to have that memory.”
“I… It’s never been for any other reason.”
“Prove it to me, then. Make me feel it. Make me believe it,” I climbed onto his lap, and he let me, put an arm around me, turned his face up to meet my kisses. His lips trembled against mine, but he was hard when I reached down, and I took his long, heavy, gorgeous cock out and squeezed it in my palm, revelling in the feel of the soft, delicate skin over warm hardness. He whimpered into my mouth, fumbled with my belt and zipper, and finally his hand was on me, gentle, skilled, generous, sliding over sensitive places just slow enough to be almost cruel. I retaliated by pinching his nipple through the thin grey t-shirt; he bucked upwards, tightened his hold around me, pulled my tie loose with his teeth, tore the shirt collar open and closed his lips over my collarbone.
“Oh yes,” I moaned, groping, stroking, kissing, writhing in his embrace. Eric, Eric, Eric. My last, my best, my downfall, my enemy, my almost-friend. Maybe equal, maybe opposite, maybe…
He sobbed and shoved me away, hard, startling me enough to lose my erection. I sat up where I fell on his bed, trying to assess the situation, while he got up, fastened his clothes with shaking hands and pointed a finger at me.
“It’s all your fault!” he barked.
“Can’t argue with you on that,” I nodded. “I don’t think the tribunal will disagree either, so...”
He began pacing the room. That was a tricky thing to do – there was only enough space for one good step before he had to turn around.
“How can I trust you? You’ve been trying to manipulate me from the start. It’s all lies and games with you two, you and that freaky Flaherty boy.”
“Look, I understand you’re upset…”
“Who, me? I’m fucking furious. I want to kick the shit out of you. I want to kill you with my own two hands. You know, I might be insecure, but you are an arrogant, back-stabbing, cold-hearted prick with his head firmly up his ass, and I don’t know what’s worse!”
“The latter, I think,” I said helpfully. “I’m afraid I’m not following.”
He jumped onto the bed and grabbed my shoulders, something between a threat and a caress.
“Even now. You’re cornered, and you still won’t let me in, all you want is a fuck, as usual.”
“Fear makes me horny,” I said automatically. “And isn’t it too late for anything else?”
“It probably is. I let this whole thing run this long because I was waiting, waiting like an idiot for you to finally learn to trust me and come to me, and let me help you, but there are less than two days left, and you still won’t…”
“Shut up,” I ordered, prying his fingers off me. “You know they’ll make me tell them everything I know, and this too, so just shut up before you say something really stupid.”
“Oh shit, you know, this would be fucking priceless if it wasn’t so insulting. Do you think I actually could do this, could send you away to be tortured and killed? Do you? Look at me, dammit!”
I looked him in the eye, and he let go of me and pulled back.
“Why would I doubt it?” I asked, softer than I meant to. “Isn’t it your job?”
“Not really. My job is to protect this country. If it wants to use a small child as a doomsday device, it clearly needs to be protected from itself,” he stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit up, confident that he made his point.
And he had, really. I’ve been speculating on what really happened during his first and only covert mission that almost led to his dishonourable discharge, and what was the sketchy report of his southern campaign really hiding, and now I believed he would tell me. But I could guess myself. Also, I was greatly pleased that it wasn’t all about me - it wouldn’t be right if it was.
“How did a man like you make a Colonel – twice, – during current and previous administrations? Why are you even still alive?” I asked, fascinated.
“Luck,” he answered with a grin. “Fate. A whole lot of not giving a fuck. But luck, mostly. Which will come in handy, because breaking this security will be a gamble, even for me, even if we can get all the codes.”
“I have all the codes. All I’m unsure about are actual manned posts. You’ll have to come with us, of course; if you stay behind, no amount of luck will save you this time.”
“Is your Kieran coming?” he asked, and snickered when I nodded. “Oh, he’ll just love that.”
I imagined the two of them sharing living space, hell, sharing a life, and couldn’t hold in a nervous giggle. Well, at least our existence on the run would be a lot more entertaining than I expected it to be.
“Look,” I took off my loose tie, dropped my glasses on his night table. “I remember what I’ve promised before, about outfits and spanking, but I’m rather tired, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to postpone that. Can I sleep here? We can discuss the plans tomorrow, all three of us.”
“You are so strange,” he smiled and got up, making the room for me to lie down. I did, grabbed his arm and pulled him down to join me on the bed.
“Maybe, but you love it.”
“I do.”
And this time I smiled and took it for what it was worth, let it ring through me and tug at my heart, let myself bask in a heady pleasure of finally being able to meet his eyes. It was him who looked away this time, actually blushing a little, and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
“You’ve only let me stay overnight once before,” I complained, snugly wrapping my arms around him. “In the very beginning.”
“That’s because you kept going through my stuff every time I dosed off or went to the bathroom. Don’t think I didn’t notice. And I still don’t want you to do that, by the way.”
“Well, if you insist. I wanted to read your diary and check for pictures of previous boyfriends, but…”
“Yeah, about that.”
“Previous boyfriends?”
“No. I, look, I know we have… I know there was something; you don’t have to tell me that. And that’s not why, okay?”
“Okay, oh prince of eloquence.”
“Shuddup. You know what I mean. I’m just saying, if there’s going to be – and I’m not saying it will, I won’t push or anything, but if, - oh, it’s going to be weird either way. What I’m trying to say: really, it’s not that important. Well, it is, damn, of course it is, but there are more important things, you know?”
“Ah, about that. I want you to meet Senator Flaherty. One day, when we have a chance.”
“Eh? I’ve met him. He interviewed me.”
“That’s not what I mean. See, my father doesn’t come up for parole for another sixteen years, and, anyway, he’s been in prison since I was very young. Mr Flaherty was really the one who raised us both, me and Kieran. He helped me get my scholarship, my first grant… Eric?”
He was shaking and stifling strange noises against the side of my neck, and I had plenty of time to regret my words even before he came up for air and I saw that he was laughing.
“That’s… How do you make these leaps in your head? Is it a scientist thing? Just ten minutes ago you thought I was gonna jerk you off and sell you down the river, and now you want me to…”
“You don’t have to,” I said stiffly, trying not to feel hurt. “It was just a thought.”
“Yeah, sure,” he turned off the lights and settled down again, and his comforting weight was like an anchor against a whirlwind of my thoughts. “Think he’ll like me?”
“If not, he can keep his opinion to himself. But I’m positive he will. He’s not like Kieran; he’ll think you’re a lot of fun.”
He sighed – happily, contentedly, - relaxed against me, all steady heartbeat and warm Eric-scented breath; I already started to drift off when I heard his voice whispering near my ear.
“Tadashi?”
“Mmm?”
“You scared at all?”
“Just a little anxious. See for yourself,” I answered, pressing his palm against my still opened fly.
*-*-*
“This can not be happening to me,” groaned Kieran. This meeting in canteen was for three, and the change wasn’t going down well with him. “So you are saying that when you went all Mata Hari on his ass – and please, don’t tell me any actual details, – he was doing the same thing? You brain migrated south so much that this, this thug could lead you around by the – and god, I really hope I’ll never know any details.”
Eric was quietly sipping his black coffee, looking so satisfied and smug he was positively glowing.
“He didn’t even tell you that much. In more than a month, how much exactly did you get out of him? And don’t you dare even consider a double entendre.”
“Well, not a lot, granted, but it was very helpful information. And vital clues on guard rotation I couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.”
“Oh yeah,” said Eric dreamily. “I remember. You kept asking stuff, and doing that thing with your…”
“Shut up!” screamed Kieran and threw a salt shaker at him. Eric ducked the projectile with a merry chuckle.
“Yes, amazing, really, that I didn’t blurt out restricted information left and right, considering how I’m a trained professional. Give professor a break, pretty boy,” he said. “Anyway, you won in the end. Goes to show that the right side will always come out on top. And hey, feel free to entendre all you like!”
“Tadashi,” said Kieran. “I just had a vision of our future. Travelling together like a big happy family, Colonel here teaching Sam to swear, lie and smoke while they are constantly talking crap, playing their frigging catch and gorging themselves on chocolate, and you - encouraging them, smiling like an imbecile, basking in post-nookie glow when you aren’t going at it like crazed rabbits. Kill me now.”
“Suggestions?”
“Besides killing me now? None. But if I ever catch even a hint of you humping in the same hemisphere me and Sam are in…”
“Kieran, are you a virgin?” asked Eric sweetly and tilted his head to the side, grinning.
“Yes,” said Kieran, smiling in a way that made me worry that his face might break. “Although I bet you can never guess who with and when I had my first kiss.”
“When?” enquired Eric from me, very quietly.
“Saturday,” I said. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“You tell me.”
“That’s a no then,” I looked at them both with a confident, affectionate smile. “It will all work out, you’ll see.”
“Hm,” said Eric. His eyes ran all over Kieran, same sort of glance he only dared to discreetly sneak at him before.
“Don’t you even… Tadashi, I’m warning you now, if he tries something, he’s toast. If you want him safe, keep him away from me.”
“It will all work out,” I repeated stubbornly, feeling a headache coming.
“Okay, joking aside, why are you a virgin?” asked Eric and disappeared under the table with a loud crash when Kieran kicked the chair from under him, like he used to do to me back in school if I was a “smartass” during our lunches with his uncle.
“Ah hell,” he said, watching with some satisfaction as Eric climbed back on his feet, rubbing at the bruises. “Just tell him. Maybe it’ll calm him down.”
Put him off, he meant.
“Kieran is different,” I explained. “His drives, his physiology, his body are not quite like ours. That poses issues that he didn’t feel the need to confront and overcome, that’s all.”
“Oh shit, man, is there something wrong with you? Sorry, I wasn’t…”
“He’s altered.”
“You mean he’s a designer baby?” sniggered Eric, and Kieran lunged at him across the table, missing him by an inch as he ducked away. “Hey, I should have known! The eyes, the hair…”
“Call me that again and you’re dead, you piece of…”
“But how? Isn’t it illegal under the penalty of death?”
“It’s illegal to make altered humans, not to be one,” said Kieran, sitting back down. “You don’t think I did it to myself, do you?”
“So were your parents,” started Eric and stammered, probably trying to rephrase.
“There were no parents. I’m a failed experiment, my DNA is all patches and knots. Uncle – Senator Flaherty found me in a ditch when he was walking Velveta. Our dog. Here, laugh, be my guest.”
“That’s not all that funny,” said Eric. “Hey, is that why you and Sam…”
“Aha,” I nodded, pleased at how fast he was. “I’ve even isolated the sequence in Kieran’s DNA that overrides Sam’s defences. As far as I can tell, this combination does not occur in humans naturally.”
“Talk about coincidences,” Eric shook his head, amused.
“Luck,” I said, pressing my ankle against his. “Fate.”
He carefully rubbed back and tried to hide his smile. Kieran sighed, looking martyred enough for instant canonization:
“Can we talk about the operation already?”
*-*-*
“Do you remember the sun?”
It was huge, violently red, bleeding all over the horizon. The sparse clouds were shaded in yellow and purple, like bruises, and the sky, still deep blue above us, was already discoloured at the edges, no longer a solid shield against the endless black behind it.
Sunset.
We were out. I’ve not realised before that I’ve only been to the surface twice in the last month. The air was not right, too thin, too moist, painfully harsh inside my lungs; faint flashes of vertigo kept assailing me at random, flat expanse of land around us seemed to curl upwards at a distance, leaving us trapped at the bottom of a gigantic saucer.
“Maybe,” said Sam. “I remember something.”
Eric holstered his empty gun and reached for a cigarette. His eyes, just like the western corner of the sky, no longer looked blue, painted dark red by the distant glow. I wanted to offer him some kind of comfort, but nothing I could give seemed adequate.
“I’m fine,” he said without looking at me; I must have been really staring for him to feel it like that. “It always turns out like this. I don’t know why. You try to save one innocent life, and you end up killing half a dozen of good men. It’s like a law. I’m fine. Huh, at least I don’t have to deal with the paperwork and the enquiry board this time. Was it maybe too much for you?”
“I was planning to do it myself, remember?”
“Well. It’s good that you didn’t have to, you could have messed up, first time and all. Hey, bionic man, where to now?”
“West,” said Kieran. Sam climbed upon his shoulders; Kieran’s hands grabbed the boy’s bony knees for support. “The car is as close as I could get it, about two miles from here, near the canyon. Then a half an hour’s drive to the jet. We have more than two hours before the troops get here, if Tadashi really managed to disable the alerts, but let’s not dawdle anyway.”
We walked. The sun kept sinking in front of us with a desperate inevitability, going all out, not saving any colour for the encore, for all the tomorrow’s sunsets. As the air cooled against my face I tried to imagine them all at once, juxtaposed together, nothing but fading fire, far-away light, long goodbyes, promises, promises.
“Tadashi, please don’t say anything about how pretty the fucking sunset is,” said Kieran. “You look like you’re about to compose a haiku.”
“Yeah, that’d be too cliché,” chimed in Eric. “You only supposed to talk about sunsets when you’re lying on a beach with a stiff drink handy, and even then you have to be all macho and nonchalant about it. Like this – hey, man, kinda cool. Check it out.”
“It really will be a different life,” I said, more to myself, made terribly sentimental and off-balance by everything we’ve been through. “It will be very hard at times. We’ll be in danger. We’ll argue. We might want to split up.”
“No,” smiled Sam. As the light dwindled, his eyes started to glow with a bright golden glimmer I’ve not seen before. I could only hope that was his normal reaction to sunlight, background radiation or something in the air, not a sign of unforeseen trouble. “We’re friends. We’ll be fine together.”
Eric and Kieran grunted with disgust in perfect unison but didn’t offer anything more. We walked: me, carrying a backpack with my precious data disks, thermos full of hot cocoa and supper for everybody; Eric, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, new cigarette replacing old one in his mouth every ten minutes on the dot, small sad smile playing on his lips; Kieran, with his usual frown eased into almost serene expression, struggling slightly under Sam’s weight but unwilling to slow down even a little. Sam looked around at first, drinking in the sights, but now all his attention seemed to be focused on Kieran’s fair hair. His small hands were gently resting on top of Kieran’s head for balance, and sometimes from the corner of my eye I could see his fingers moving a little, stroking the hair in such light, careful movements, that it probably went unnoticed by the recipient of this caress.
It was almost dark when we reached the cliffs. The car was hidden inside the labyrinth of rock pillars that circled the canyon, masterfully parked almost inside the shallow cave, with only the back sticking out slightly, hardly visible even if you knew what to look for. Kieran put Sam down, discreetly stretched his tired back and took out the keys.
“And the journey begins,” he said, pressing the button to unlock the car. The brake lights blinked like two red eyes.
“Hi guys,” cheerfully said a familiar voice, and we all jumped, stunned.
“Uncle!” gasped Kieran.
“Well done, my boy. I’m so proud of you,” Senator Flaherty was approaching us with his usual, slightly goofy smile, and it all seemed like we’ve walked right into a dream where everything makes some impossible, but wonderful sense. “I knew you could be strong when needed. Hmm, new player? Oh, I remember you, young man. Colonel Swenson, right?”
I put an arm around Eric’s waist and pushed him forward, matching Senator’s smile watt for watt:
“Yes, yes. He helped us. We’re… Eric’s my boyfriend, Mr Flaherty.”
“Tadashi,” he said, and it felt like I was twelve again, winning my first science fair while he watched with the rest of the parents, grinned like just that and clapped like a madman. “Oh, Tadashi, this is great. Nice to meet you again, Eric. I hope Tadashi will make it up to you for ruining your, as I recall, stellar career.”
“He already has, Senator,” said Eric very earnestly, shaking the offered hand.
“Call me Nigel, please. Well, boys, is there room enough in your van for an old man? I’m coming with you.”
“Uncle, no!” protested Kieran. “I can’t let you, it’s too dangerous. We’ve agreed that you’ll stay behind, and we’ll contact you when…”
“That’s just it,” sighed the Senator. “I’m worried that you’re not planning to contact me at all. Out of a desire to protect me, of course, but I can’t lose you like that.”
“Uncle…” Kieran planted his feet firmly apart, defiant like an overgrown teenager. “No. I can’t do this to you. Use our escape scheme if you don’t want to stay in the country, but you’re not coming with us. We’re doing this alone, and you won’t know where we are, it’s safer this way. I’ll knock you out if I’ll have to, but you’re not getting in this car with us.”
“I hoped I’d raised you better than this,” said the Senator. “More obedient, more useful, you know? But it was mostly an act from you. You always had opinions, you were always stubborn. Okay, plan B. Go!”
“I knew I didn’t like this place,” Eric stepped closer to me, just as Sam pressed against Kieran, blinking at the black silhouettes that appeared from nowhere, separated from the rock, sprang from the ground, almost silently if you didn’t count the sound of the guns’ safeties being taken off. In a little more than a second we were surrounded; I didn’t try to count the gunmen, but even I could tell there was enough of them, more than enough.
“Listen to what I have to say, boys,” said the Senator, softly, persuasively. “I don’t want to stay in this country, you’re right. It’s turning into a totalitarian state, drowning in the medieval religious frenzy, and it will be ruined by this war, because the other side is exactly like this one, fanatical and scared. We’re going away, to the place where people still believe in reason.”
“And you need Sam to make sure the reason they believe in is the right one,” nodded Kieran.
“He will only be used as deterrent. I will have enough power – not scraps like here, - to guarantee his complete safety. You’ll still be together, I promise, just come with me.”
“I refuse. He’s not a weapon. He’s not a tool. And neither am I,” Kieran’s face was almost impassive; he was always cool in a crisis. “I won’t do your bidding just because you think I owe you that. I don’t. And don’t think you can scare me. You can’t. You have this one chance: step aside, don’t stand in my way, and we’ll part peacefully.”
Senator ran a hand through his hair, contemplating, adjusted his glasses, looked at Kieran with regret, heaved a sigh.
“Fine, fine. Kill him.”
The shot was surprisingly quiet, like a cough; there was a split second when the world still existed, when everything could have been fixed, turned over, started anew. And then Kieran fell, with his eyes closed, blood trickling out of the round red wound between his eyebrows, so little of it, not even enough to really mar his face.
I moved before I had a chance to think, before I let that sink in, maybe hoping I never would have to, but mostly aiming for the older Flaherty’s neck. I didn’t make it. There were two shots this time; it felt curiously like being punched: I was thrown down and winded, but there was no bright, sharp agony I expected, only a distant, almost dull ache, even when Eric’s hands pressed hard on the wounds, trying to staunch the bleeding.
“Don’t worry, Tadashi, we’ll patch you up,” said Nigel Flaherty. “You are coming with me. Our Sam needs a friend.”
I turned my head and saw Sam, already covered by nets, surrounded by men with large transparent shields. He crouched over Kieran - Kieran’s body - touching his chest and face, trying to make sense of it all.
“You were always my favourite, Tadashi. Kieran was just a meat puppet, built for one purpose: to connect with the Child, to control it for me, and he couldn’t even do that right. I’ve already commissioned a better version, a little boy for Sam to play with. I need you, I’ve been grooming you for this for so many years. We can rule this world, my boy, all of it, until we get bored. Don’t you want to know what it’s all about? What it’s really all about? This thing is venom of God personified, and we can harness and ride this power, all the way back to the source.”
“I’m almost tempted,” I said, surprised at how unresponsive my lips suddenly were. I didn’t think I’d lose so much blood that quickly. “Just for a chance to kill you.”
“If you cooperate, you can even bring your toy along. Otherwise, he dies here.”
“I won’t be used as a hostage,” said Eric. “Tadashi, you stop talking, just rest, okay?”
“Kieran?”
Sam’s voice faltered, and the nets thrown over him began to melt.
“Kieran?...”
I heard screams, smelled something even more unpleasant than my own spilling blood, caught a glimpse of Sam’s upturned face, shrouded in a bright golden glow, soaked with tears; Eric flung himself on top of me, and I couldn’t see much else.
“Kieran!”
The earth shook; there was light, and I went blind. Eric kept clutching onto me, trying to shield me from this raw, pure wrath with his body - less than two hundred pounds of bone and flesh, the most pathetic, fragile armour he could possibly think of, and I wished I could share this joke with him, but I was too busy wrapping my weakening arms around his head, making sure his eyes were safely covered.
Still, somehow, for some reason, it must have worked, because when the light took us I felt no pain, none at all.
End of Part Three
Part Four
Author: Newkate
Fandom: Saiyuki
Warnings: Reincarnation fic. NC-17 for yet more m/m smut, some language, violence and other disturbing things.
Betaed by
hibem.Part One: Shift
Part Two: Dance
Part 3: Experiment (Ch. 4 of 4)
Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3
Eric was on the thankfully short list of the members of our staff who had to submit their weekly tests to me personally, so next time I saw him he was in the Lab Two, sprawled in the chair, right ring finger raised and extended to me, like a sacrifice.
“How are you feeling today, Colonel?” I asked in my best “doctor” voice.
“Good, thank you,” he flashed me a brilliant smile. “A little tender in places, but very good. What about you, Professor?”
“Never better, actually,” I took the offered hand, brushed a thumb against his palm while disinfecting the skin, quickly stabbed a needle into the fingertip and squeezed the wounded finger until large enough droplet of blood swelled from the wound. Quick swipe of a glass slide against it – and then I had to cover it with a tiny band-aid, regretting, as usually, that I knew too much about bacteria to lick it better.
I was still smoothing the band-aid over his skin when he surged up, grabbed my face between his palms and caught me into a hot, urgent, deep open-mouthed kiss. I didn’t fight it, hoping that he still remembered about the proper decorum and thought to check for possible witnesses; I didn’t want to fight it, in all honesty.
“My place tonight,” he said, pulling back only a little, so his lips brushed my skin as they moved. “I have something for you. Will you come?”
“Of course,” I said, slightly stunned. He kissed me again, harder this time, making out teeth clash a little, let go of me and left swiftly, without turning back.
When I finally made it to Eric’s quarters that night, he was sitting on his neatly made bed fully clothed, and his face was so blank and empty he hardly even looked like himself.
“So, what was that you wanted to show me?” I asked, shocked by the sound of my own voice, so obviously forced and fake, hoping against hope all my instincts were wrong and this wasn’t the end of the line for me.
“Lock the door,” said Eric, and after I complied, understanding how futile it would be to try and resist a Chief of security in the middle of his underground military installation, he flung a small battered player on the bed and pressed the remote.
I stood there, leaning against the door to take some weight off my shaking knees and listened to my own recorded voice, familiar and alien at the same time, casually talking about treason, conspiracy and sabotage, signing my own death warrant over and over.
It wasn’t even that much of a surprise. Deep down I knew where things were heading, all the signs were there: little changes in his behaviour, strange hints he’d drop as if to gauge my reaction, actions even his devil-may-care attitude could not explain. I knew he was becoming a threat, I knew what steps needed to be taken, yet I did nothing. I pretended not to notice and I let it happen. I’d betrayed Kieran’s trust, gambled my own life away and let down the whole world, all for…
And the funniest thing? I didn’t even know what for, exactly.
“Is this all you have?” I asked after the minute-long snippet of my monologue finished playing. I remembered the conversation. I was talking to Kieran, of course, but couldn’t remember if I used his name and wasn’t sure if the recording device, which probably was planted on me, was powerful enough to capture the other side of the chat.
“I think I have enough to get Flaherty-Junior brought in for questioning. Not the Senator, though. It doesn’t really matter, I’m sure you know enough to bury them both, and with today’s interrogation techniques - don’t take it personally, but you wouldn’t last a day.”
Kieran and his uncle had diplomatic immunity; if there was not enough evidence to revoke it without going through proper channels, they were probably safe. I’ve arranged for them to be alerted as soon as the enquiry starts; Kieran assured me they could be out of the country in a matter of hours in case of emergency.
Eric finally glanced up to meet my eyes. He looked tired and worn out, years older than his age, and he has gone so pale those tiny freckles on the bridge of his nose stood out, clearly visible. I’ve never really allowed myself to think how much this would hurt him in the end, and this was not the time to start. I needed all my strength for what was to come, and I suspected that before the end of the week I’d have atoned for this sin tenfold anyway.
“I’m sorry,” said Eric, echo to the thoughts I refused to acknowledge.
“Whatever for? It was always the most likely end. I’ve been ready for this from the beginning.”
He was waiting for something. Probably an explanation: how could I, what possessed me to become a traitor, what the hell was I thinking. Maybe he expected me to apologize for using him as I did. Maybe he wanted me to admit that I’ve underestimated him as an opponent.
I crossed the room and sat down on his bed, with the player of doom between us. He sighed at the corny symbolism and moved in onto the desk.
“When did you first begin to suspect me?” I asked. “I would like to know where I fucked it all up.”
He gave me a weak, shaky smile.
“I think it was something you said. Now, what was it – oh yes. ‘Colonel Swenson, is it? I was just heading out to get some lunch, would you care to join me?’”
I was looking at him, wordless, waiting for this to make some kind of sense, and he kept smiling at me, sadly and almost apologetically, like a kicked dog.
“Akiyama, people like you don’t just happen to people like me. When you started hitting on me, I knew there was something you wanted. And the only thing I had was my security access, so…”
“I can’t believe the Armageddon will come not because I’ve been outsmarted by a worthy adversary, but because my boyfriend is an insecure, twisted jerk,” I said, suddenly angry at him almost as much as I was angry at myself.
“Armageddon?”
“Don’t try to change the subject, Swenson! If that’s what you thought of me, why am I even here? Why this goodbye, why not simply hand me over to…”
“I wanted to talk to you. For a while now. I wanted to meet the real you. That’s all,” he shrugged, studying his shoes. “Is that too much to ask?”
“I’m…” I mumbled, suddenly caught flatfooted. “Y-you know, I’m not really that different.”
He giggled, turned toward me, touched my face with cautious, careful hands, as if willing his fingertips to memorize the feel of my skin, and sighed:
“I guess I’ll never know.”
“Well,” I said, shaking again, searching for a witty repartee and some kind of sure-fire way to stifle the panic that was finally coming after the first wave of cold shock. Every passing minute could turn out to be my last, any moment now he could decide he had enough and throw me to the lions, and that would be death, only drawn out for several weeks or months or however long it would take them to make sure I’m no longer useful. “Well. Let’s try anyway.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said, not resisting as I pulled off his uniform jacket.
“Well, this is my last wish. Before I leave, I want you to sleep with me just because you want to. I need to have that memory.”
“I… It’s never been for any other reason.”
“Prove it to me, then. Make me feel it. Make me believe it,” I climbed onto his lap, and he let me, put an arm around me, turned his face up to meet my kisses. His lips trembled against mine, but he was hard when I reached down, and I took his long, heavy, gorgeous cock out and squeezed it in my palm, revelling in the feel of the soft, delicate skin over warm hardness. He whimpered into my mouth, fumbled with my belt and zipper, and finally his hand was on me, gentle, skilled, generous, sliding over sensitive places just slow enough to be almost cruel. I retaliated by pinching his nipple through the thin grey t-shirt; he bucked upwards, tightened his hold around me, pulled my tie loose with his teeth, tore the shirt collar open and closed his lips over my collarbone.
“Oh yes,” I moaned, groping, stroking, kissing, writhing in his embrace. Eric, Eric, Eric. My last, my best, my downfall, my enemy, my almost-friend. Maybe equal, maybe opposite, maybe…
He sobbed and shoved me away, hard, startling me enough to lose my erection. I sat up where I fell on his bed, trying to assess the situation, while he got up, fastened his clothes with shaking hands and pointed a finger at me.
“It’s all your fault!” he barked.
“Can’t argue with you on that,” I nodded. “I don’t think the tribunal will disagree either, so...”
He began pacing the room. That was a tricky thing to do – there was only enough space for one good step before he had to turn around.
“How can I trust you? You’ve been trying to manipulate me from the start. It’s all lies and games with you two, you and that freaky Flaherty boy.”
“Look, I understand you’re upset…”
“Who, me? I’m fucking furious. I want to kick the shit out of you. I want to kill you with my own two hands. You know, I might be insecure, but you are an arrogant, back-stabbing, cold-hearted prick with his head firmly up his ass, and I don’t know what’s worse!”
“The latter, I think,” I said helpfully. “I’m afraid I’m not following.”
He jumped onto the bed and grabbed my shoulders, something between a threat and a caress.
“Even now. You’re cornered, and you still won’t let me in, all you want is a fuck, as usual.”
“Fear makes me horny,” I said automatically. “And isn’t it too late for anything else?”
“It probably is. I let this whole thing run this long because I was waiting, waiting like an idiot for you to finally learn to trust me and come to me, and let me help you, but there are less than two days left, and you still won’t…”
“Shut up,” I ordered, prying his fingers off me. “You know they’ll make me tell them everything I know, and this too, so just shut up before you say something really stupid.”
“Oh shit, you know, this would be fucking priceless if it wasn’t so insulting. Do you think I actually could do this, could send you away to be tortured and killed? Do you? Look at me, dammit!”
I looked him in the eye, and he let go of me and pulled back.
“Why would I doubt it?” I asked, softer than I meant to. “Isn’t it your job?”
“Not really. My job is to protect this country. If it wants to use a small child as a doomsday device, it clearly needs to be protected from itself,” he stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit up, confident that he made his point.
And he had, really. I’ve been speculating on what really happened during his first and only covert mission that almost led to his dishonourable discharge, and what was the sketchy report of his southern campaign really hiding, and now I believed he would tell me. But I could guess myself. Also, I was greatly pleased that it wasn’t all about me - it wouldn’t be right if it was.
“How did a man like you make a Colonel – twice, – during current and previous administrations? Why are you even still alive?” I asked, fascinated.
“Luck,” he answered with a grin. “Fate. A whole lot of not giving a fuck. But luck, mostly. Which will come in handy, because breaking this security will be a gamble, even for me, even if we can get all the codes.”
“I have all the codes. All I’m unsure about are actual manned posts. You’ll have to come with us, of course; if you stay behind, no amount of luck will save you this time.”
“Is your Kieran coming?” he asked, and snickered when I nodded. “Oh, he’ll just love that.”
I imagined the two of them sharing living space, hell, sharing a life, and couldn’t hold in a nervous giggle. Well, at least our existence on the run would be a lot more entertaining than I expected it to be.
“Look,” I took off my loose tie, dropped my glasses on his night table. “I remember what I’ve promised before, about outfits and spanking, but I’m rather tired, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to postpone that. Can I sleep here? We can discuss the plans tomorrow, all three of us.”
“You are so strange,” he smiled and got up, making the room for me to lie down. I did, grabbed his arm and pulled him down to join me on the bed.
“Maybe, but you love it.”
“I do.”
And this time I smiled and took it for what it was worth, let it ring through me and tug at my heart, let myself bask in a heady pleasure of finally being able to meet his eyes. It was him who looked away this time, actually blushing a little, and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
“You’ve only let me stay overnight once before,” I complained, snugly wrapping my arms around him. “In the very beginning.”
“That’s because you kept going through my stuff every time I dosed off or went to the bathroom. Don’t think I didn’t notice. And I still don’t want you to do that, by the way.”
“Well, if you insist. I wanted to read your diary and check for pictures of previous boyfriends, but…”
“Yeah, about that.”
“Previous boyfriends?”
“No. I, look, I know we have… I know there was something; you don’t have to tell me that. And that’s not why, okay?”
“Okay, oh prince of eloquence.”
“Shuddup. You know what I mean. I’m just saying, if there’s going to be – and I’m not saying it will, I won’t push or anything, but if, - oh, it’s going to be weird either way. What I’m trying to say: really, it’s not that important. Well, it is, damn, of course it is, but there are more important things, you know?”
“Ah, about that. I want you to meet Senator Flaherty. One day, when we have a chance.”
“Eh? I’ve met him. He interviewed me.”
“That’s not what I mean. See, my father doesn’t come up for parole for another sixteen years, and, anyway, he’s been in prison since I was very young. Mr Flaherty was really the one who raised us both, me and Kieran. He helped me get my scholarship, my first grant… Eric?”
He was shaking and stifling strange noises against the side of my neck, and I had plenty of time to regret my words even before he came up for air and I saw that he was laughing.
“That’s… How do you make these leaps in your head? Is it a scientist thing? Just ten minutes ago you thought I was gonna jerk you off and sell you down the river, and now you want me to…”
“You don’t have to,” I said stiffly, trying not to feel hurt. “It was just a thought.”
“Yeah, sure,” he turned off the lights and settled down again, and his comforting weight was like an anchor against a whirlwind of my thoughts. “Think he’ll like me?”
“If not, he can keep his opinion to himself. But I’m positive he will. He’s not like Kieran; he’ll think you’re a lot of fun.”
He sighed – happily, contentedly, - relaxed against me, all steady heartbeat and warm Eric-scented breath; I already started to drift off when I heard his voice whispering near my ear.
“Tadashi?”
“Mmm?”
“You scared at all?”
“Just a little anxious. See for yourself,” I answered, pressing his palm against my still opened fly.
*-*-*
“This can not be happening to me,” groaned Kieran. This meeting in canteen was for three, and the change wasn’t going down well with him. “So you are saying that when you went all Mata Hari on his ass – and please, don’t tell me any actual details, – he was doing the same thing? You brain migrated south so much that this, this thug could lead you around by the – and god, I really hope I’ll never know any details.”
Eric was quietly sipping his black coffee, looking so satisfied and smug he was positively glowing.
“He didn’t even tell you that much. In more than a month, how much exactly did you get out of him? And don’t you dare even consider a double entendre.”
“Well, not a lot, granted, but it was very helpful information. And vital clues on guard rotation I couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.”
“Oh yeah,” said Eric dreamily. “I remember. You kept asking stuff, and doing that thing with your…”
“Shut up!” screamed Kieran and threw a salt shaker at him. Eric ducked the projectile with a merry chuckle.
“Yes, amazing, really, that I didn’t blurt out restricted information left and right, considering how I’m a trained professional. Give professor a break, pretty boy,” he said. “Anyway, you won in the end. Goes to show that the right side will always come out on top. And hey, feel free to entendre all you like!”
“Tadashi,” said Kieran. “I just had a vision of our future. Travelling together like a big happy family, Colonel here teaching Sam to swear, lie and smoke while they are constantly talking crap, playing their frigging catch and gorging themselves on chocolate, and you - encouraging them, smiling like an imbecile, basking in post-nookie glow when you aren’t going at it like crazed rabbits. Kill me now.”
“Suggestions?”
“Besides killing me now? None. But if I ever catch even a hint of you humping in the same hemisphere me and Sam are in…”
“Kieran, are you a virgin?” asked Eric sweetly and tilted his head to the side, grinning.
“Yes,” said Kieran, smiling in a way that made me worry that his face might break. “Although I bet you can never guess who with and when I had my first kiss.”
“When?” enquired Eric from me, very quietly.
“Saturday,” I said. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“You tell me.”
“That’s a no then,” I looked at them both with a confident, affectionate smile. “It will all work out, you’ll see.”
“Hm,” said Eric. His eyes ran all over Kieran, same sort of glance he only dared to discreetly sneak at him before.
“Don’t you even… Tadashi, I’m warning you now, if he tries something, he’s toast. If you want him safe, keep him away from me.”
“It will all work out,” I repeated stubbornly, feeling a headache coming.
“Okay, joking aside, why are you a virgin?” asked Eric and disappeared under the table with a loud crash when Kieran kicked the chair from under him, like he used to do to me back in school if I was a “smartass” during our lunches with his uncle.
“Ah hell,” he said, watching with some satisfaction as Eric climbed back on his feet, rubbing at the bruises. “Just tell him. Maybe it’ll calm him down.”
Put him off, he meant.
“Kieran is different,” I explained. “His drives, his physiology, his body are not quite like ours. That poses issues that he didn’t feel the need to confront and overcome, that’s all.”
“Oh shit, man, is there something wrong with you? Sorry, I wasn’t…”
“He’s altered.”
“You mean he’s a designer baby?” sniggered Eric, and Kieran lunged at him across the table, missing him by an inch as he ducked away. “Hey, I should have known! The eyes, the hair…”
“Call me that again and you’re dead, you piece of…”
“But how? Isn’t it illegal under the penalty of death?”
“It’s illegal to make altered humans, not to be one,” said Kieran, sitting back down. “You don’t think I did it to myself, do you?”
“So were your parents,” started Eric and stammered, probably trying to rephrase.
“There were no parents. I’m a failed experiment, my DNA is all patches and knots. Uncle – Senator Flaherty found me in a ditch when he was walking Velveta. Our dog. Here, laugh, be my guest.”
“That’s not all that funny,” said Eric. “Hey, is that why you and Sam…”
“Aha,” I nodded, pleased at how fast he was. “I’ve even isolated the sequence in Kieran’s DNA that overrides Sam’s defences. As far as I can tell, this combination does not occur in humans naturally.”
“Talk about coincidences,” Eric shook his head, amused.
“Luck,” I said, pressing my ankle against his. “Fate.”
He carefully rubbed back and tried to hide his smile. Kieran sighed, looking martyred enough for instant canonization:
“Can we talk about the operation already?”
*-*-*
“Do you remember the sun?”
It was huge, violently red, bleeding all over the horizon. The sparse clouds were shaded in yellow and purple, like bruises, and the sky, still deep blue above us, was already discoloured at the edges, no longer a solid shield against the endless black behind it.
Sunset.
We were out. I’ve not realised before that I’ve only been to the surface twice in the last month. The air was not right, too thin, too moist, painfully harsh inside my lungs; faint flashes of vertigo kept assailing me at random, flat expanse of land around us seemed to curl upwards at a distance, leaving us trapped at the bottom of a gigantic saucer.
“Maybe,” said Sam. “I remember something.”
Eric holstered his empty gun and reached for a cigarette. His eyes, just like the western corner of the sky, no longer looked blue, painted dark red by the distant glow. I wanted to offer him some kind of comfort, but nothing I could give seemed adequate.
“I’m fine,” he said without looking at me; I must have been really staring for him to feel it like that. “It always turns out like this. I don’t know why. You try to save one innocent life, and you end up killing half a dozen of good men. It’s like a law. I’m fine. Huh, at least I don’t have to deal with the paperwork and the enquiry board this time. Was it maybe too much for you?”
“I was planning to do it myself, remember?”
“Well. It’s good that you didn’t have to, you could have messed up, first time and all. Hey, bionic man, where to now?”
“West,” said Kieran. Sam climbed upon his shoulders; Kieran’s hands grabbed the boy’s bony knees for support. “The car is as close as I could get it, about two miles from here, near the canyon. Then a half an hour’s drive to the jet. We have more than two hours before the troops get here, if Tadashi really managed to disable the alerts, but let’s not dawdle anyway.”
We walked. The sun kept sinking in front of us with a desperate inevitability, going all out, not saving any colour for the encore, for all the tomorrow’s sunsets. As the air cooled against my face I tried to imagine them all at once, juxtaposed together, nothing but fading fire, far-away light, long goodbyes, promises, promises.
“Tadashi, please don’t say anything about how pretty the fucking sunset is,” said Kieran. “You look like you’re about to compose a haiku.”
“Yeah, that’d be too cliché,” chimed in Eric. “You only supposed to talk about sunsets when you’re lying on a beach with a stiff drink handy, and even then you have to be all macho and nonchalant about it. Like this – hey, man, kinda cool. Check it out.”
“It really will be a different life,” I said, more to myself, made terribly sentimental and off-balance by everything we’ve been through. “It will be very hard at times. We’ll be in danger. We’ll argue. We might want to split up.”
“No,” smiled Sam. As the light dwindled, his eyes started to glow with a bright golden glimmer I’ve not seen before. I could only hope that was his normal reaction to sunlight, background radiation or something in the air, not a sign of unforeseen trouble. “We’re friends. We’ll be fine together.”
Eric and Kieran grunted with disgust in perfect unison but didn’t offer anything more. We walked: me, carrying a backpack with my precious data disks, thermos full of hot cocoa and supper for everybody; Eric, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, new cigarette replacing old one in his mouth every ten minutes on the dot, small sad smile playing on his lips; Kieran, with his usual frown eased into almost serene expression, struggling slightly under Sam’s weight but unwilling to slow down even a little. Sam looked around at first, drinking in the sights, but now all his attention seemed to be focused on Kieran’s fair hair. His small hands were gently resting on top of Kieran’s head for balance, and sometimes from the corner of my eye I could see his fingers moving a little, stroking the hair in such light, careful movements, that it probably went unnoticed by the recipient of this caress.
It was almost dark when we reached the cliffs. The car was hidden inside the labyrinth of rock pillars that circled the canyon, masterfully parked almost inside the shallow cave, with only the back sticking out slightly, hardly visible even if you knew what to look for. Kieran put Sam down, discreetly stretched his tired back and took out the keys.
“And the journey begins,” he said, pressing the button to unlock the car. The brake lights blinked like two red eyes.
“Hi guys,” cheerfully said a familiar voice, and we all jumped, stunned.
“Uncle!” gasped Kieran.
“Well done, my boy. I’m so proud of you,” Senator Flaherty was approaching us with his usual, slightly goofy smile, and it all seemed like we’ve walked right into a dream where everything makes some impossible, but wonderful sense. “I knew you could be strong when needed. Hmm, new player? Oh, I remember you, young man. Colonel Swenson, right?”
I put an arm around Eric’s waist and pushed him forward, matching Senator’s smile watt for watt:
“Yes, yes. He helped us. We’re… Eric’s my boyfriend, Mr Flaherty.”
“Tadashi,” he said, and it felt like I was twelve again, winning my first science fair while he watched with the rest of the parents, grinned like just that and clapped like a madman. “Oh, Tadashi, this is great. Nice to meet you again, Eric. I hope Tadashi will make it up to you for ruining your, as I recall, stellar career.”
“He already has, Senator,” said Eric very earnestly, shaking the offered hand.
“Call me Nigel, please. Well, boys, is there room enough in your van for an old man? I’m coming with you.”
“Uncle, no!” protested Kieran. “I can’t let you, it’s too dangerous. We’ve agreed that you’ll stay behind, and we’ll contact you when…”
“That’s just it,” sighed the Senator. “I’m worried that you’re not planning to contact me at all. Out of a desire to protect me, of course, but I can’t lose you like that.”
“Uncle…” Kieran planted his feet firmly apart, defiant like an overgrown teenager. “No. I can’t do this to you. Use our escape scheme if you don’t want to stay in the country, but you’re not coming with us. We’re doing this alone, and you won’t know where we are, it’s safer this way. I’ll knock you out if I’ll have to, but you’re not getting in this car with us.”
“I hoped I’d raised you better than this,” said the Senator. “More obedient, more useful, you know? But it was mostly an act from you. You always had opinions, you were always stubborn. Okay, plan B. Go!”
“I knew I didn’t like this place,” Eric stepped closer to me, just as Sam pressed against Kieran, blinking at the black silhouettes that appeared from nowhere, separated from the rock, sprang from the ground, almost silently if you didn’t count the sound of the guns’ safeties being taken off. In a little more than a second we were surrounded; I didn’t try to count the gunmen, but even I could tell there was enough of them, more than enough.
“Listen to what I have to say, boys,” said the Senator, softly, persuasively. “I don’t want to stay in this country, you’re right. It’s turning into a totalitarian state, drowning in the medieval religious frenzy, and it will be ruined by this war, because the other side is exactly like this one, fanatical and scared. We’re going away, to the place where people still believe in reason.”
“And you need Sam to make sure the reason they believe in is the right one,” nodded Kieran.
“He will only be used as deterrent. I will have enough power – not scraps like here, - to guarantee his complete safety. You’ll still be together, I promise, just come with me.”
“I refuse. He’s not a weapon. He’s not a tool. And neither am I,” Kieran’s face was almost impassive; he was always cool in a crisis. “I won’t do your bidding just because you think I owe you that. I don’t. And don’t think you can scare me. You can’t. You have this one chance: step aside, don’t stand in my way, and we’ll part peacefully.”
Senator ran a hand through his hair, contemplating, adjusted his glasses, looked at Kieran with regret, heaved a sigh.
“Fine, fine. Kill him.”
The shot was surprisingly quiet, like a cough; there was a split second when the world still existed, when everything could have been fixed, turned over, started anew. And then Kieran fell, with his eyes closed, blood trickling out of the round red wound between his eyebrows, so little of it, not even enough to really mar his face.
I moved before I had a chance to think, before I let that sink in, maybe hoping I never would have to, but mostly aiming for the older Flaherty’s neck. I didn’t make it. There were two shots this time; it felt curiously like being punched: I was thrown down and winded, but there was no bright, sharp agony I expected, only a distant, almost dull ache, even when Eric’s hands pressed hard on the wounds, trying to staunch the bleeding.
“Don’t worry, Tadashi, we’ll patch you up,” said Nigel Flaherty. “You are coming with me. Our Sam needs a friend.”
I turned my head and saw Sam, already covered by nets, surrounded by men with large transparent shields. He crouched over Kieran - Kieran’s body - touching his chest and face, trying to make sense of it all.
“You were always my favourite, Tadashi. Kieran was just a meat puppet, built for one purpose: to connect with the Child, to control it for me, and he couldn’t even do that right. I’ve already commissioned a better version, a little boy for Sam to play with. I need you, I’ve been grooming you for this for so many years. We can rule this world, my boy, all of it, until we get bored. Don’t you want to know what it’s all about? What it’s really all about? This thing is venom of God personified, and we can harness and ride this power, all the way back to the source.”
“I’m almost tempted,” I said, surprised at how unresponsive my lips suddenly were. I didn’t think I’d lose so much blood that quickly. “Just for a chance to kill you.”
“If you cooperate, you can even bring your toy along. Otherwise, he dies here.”
“I won’t be used as a hostage,” said Eric. “Tadashi, you stop talking, just rest, okay?”
“Kieran?”
Sam’s voice faltered, and the nets thrown over him began to melt.
“Kieran?...”
I heard screams, smelled something even more unpleasant than my own spilling blood, caught a glimpse of Sam’s upturned face, shrouded in a bright golden glow, soaked with tears; Eric flung himself on top of me, and I couldn’t see much else.
“Kieran!”
The earth shook; there was light, and I went blind. Eric kept clutching onto me, trying to shield me from this raw, pure wrath with his body - less than two hundred pounds of bone and flesh, the most pathetic, fragile armour he could possibly think of, and I wished I could share this joke with him, but I was too busy wrapping my weakening arms around his head, making sure his eyes were safely covered.
Still, somehow, for some reason, it must have worked, because when the light took us I felt no pain, none at all.
End of Part Three
Part Four
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2005-08-29 04:29 pm (UTC)You have achieved epic tragedy in four chapters, with the most concise elaborations of plot and rather a lot of sex. I'd not have thought it possible, but you accomplished it. Brava!
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Date: 2005-08-31 08:53 am (UTC)I'm so very impressed you saw my "plot twist" coming right from the start, about this version of Hakkai being essentially raised by Nii. And well, sex in this part just couldn't be stopped for some reason! I think the boys spent about half of the story in bed. Oh well, no porn for Goku's innocent
eyesPOV, so this will balance out.And thank you so much for pointing my tenses problems! Grammar and me are not quite on first names basis yet...
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Date: 2005-08-29 08:30 pm (UTC)I wish I could be more coherent, but I've been working 10+ hour days for the last four, so you'll have to do with a squee. And I can't believe I'm squeeing at "everybody dies." But it IS a great ending.
Looking forward to part 4.
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Date: 2005-08-31 08:56 am (UTC)Next part is with the beta and hopefully will be out shortly. And I do hope your workload lessens soon!
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Date: 2005-08-30 03:14 am (UTC)I was wondering where could you go after the '80 part, since it looked like you were moving forward and of course, you chose the future. It was a great choice, if I may say so. And more "Gaidenish" influence was perfect for this setting. It read like a dark futuristic SF novel (and I love those, especially if they have so much feeling as your story does).
When I thought it couldn't get better you finished it with such a wonderful and unexpected twist. I really, really admire your writing. You are truly good.
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Date: 2005-08-31 09:06 am (UTC)Thanks again for the kind words and for reading!
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Date: 2005-08-31 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-01 01:13 pm (UTC)Aha! *points accusing finger* NOW I remember where I got my Hakkai/Nii fetish from. Thank you!
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Date: 2005-08-31 09:51 pm (UTC)Drama wise, Part 3 definitely wins, but I have to say that I like the reincarnations in Part 1 the best--I guess that is because they are the most different while still being the same. Does that make sense? Part 3 characterizations were excellent, very well done in true Gaiden form, but the characters in Part 1 were just so original that I loved them. I believe changing the sexes always lend to that, but also makes all their interactions that more interesting.
Oh, a random question: Is the Lydia in Part 2 the grown up version of the Lydia in Part 1? Definitely looking forward to seeing everything from Goku's POV--his mind always works in the most intriguing ways.
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Date: 2005-09-02 02:52 am (UTC)And yes, good catch, that's the same Lydia, sister of Constantine! She's the only survivor from "the district prosecutor eats everyone for breakfast" saga I left out on account of it being too depressing. Eventually she moved to the West since she had no family left anyway. She would be about 43 in Part 2.
Thank you very much for the comment and I hope you like the rest!
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Date: 2005-09-02 01:51 pm (UTC)Usually I don't like reincarnation fic all that much, but I've loved all of these stories. The first one was my favorite, with the historical detail and all of that (though I had a hard time imagining Goku as a girl ;)). I loved the way you brought Kougaiji etc. into the story. It was perfect. The second one really made me think: "Queer as Saiyuki" (fun, though!). The third one was really interesting. You had me thinking the Senator was Koumyou until he started threatening them, you know. Strange...
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Date: 2005-09-05 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 10:45 am (UTC)They felt far more like their Gaiden characters in this one - added to that the place they were in had that self contained, sterile Gaiden feeling to it and their roles were closer. I loved Tadashi's narrator voice.